Regular Sex

Wondering what it's like to have sex on a regular basis, as i've got bollocks the size of a set of spacehoppers. Full to the brim with gentlemans relish.

Regular sex just a pipe dream me thinks. Oh bugger.

Advice from the Jedi masters that dabble in the black arts, aka the sport of kings, would be warmly recieved. Oooohhh mate ive just come.

 

Wouldn't know, I've been married 20 years.

 

At a funeral today and there was this gorgeous Female Funeral Director, would have loved to give her some (un)regular sex.

 

Problem with regular sex is that for the most of us this requires sticking to one partner for long periods of time.

This is a bit like having one's favourite meal morning, noon and night for years at a time......yes you might really, really like lamb chops but after five years or so all you want is something else....regular sex isn't all it cracked up to be.....*sigh*

 

That's why you add relish to those lamb chops. They may still be lamb chops, but by experimenting with different sauces and having the dish at different times in interesting places it's not so bad.
Regular sex is great, although you forget how awful it was without it until you go through a dry patch!
Or are we talking about sex with a woman? That's a totally different matter...

 

Regular sex with lamb chops? is it wrong to eat them after?

 

If Regular sex isn't working out for you, have you tried TA sex?

(That's not a personal offer )

 

stick to knocking about and forget the idea of (same bird sex),it becomes a nightmare trying to refresh positions cos you tried them all!

and when she pops out a sprog or two and becomes fat/smelly/boring/and loose and dont agree with a good fudge tunnel lovin,it is very dull and tbh you will resort to the palm very quick!

talk to the hand` cos most times its the only one who dont complain(abit of hand cream and a tissue and your off)

i`ve tought my bitch that if she isn`t feeling upto it then il just rape her instead(i call it spontaneity)(if ive spelt that right)(jumping from behind works great armed with a stanley blade.

stick to one nighters as long as you can!!and never say the L word ever!!!

 

Lamb chops - mmmmmmmmmmmm

 

I had regular sex until last weekend when I told the girlfriend she was fat......

I don't expect to get it again for quite some time.............

 

I suppose you'd like to get your hand up this one:



(The one on the left).

.

 

i tell her she is fat all the time and say"if i didnt say anything,you would sit on your fat ass and just giveup trying"

put jerry springer on and point out `she aint that bad!!!

works wonders

if it wern`t for the kids etc etc ect id be off blowing my spuds over someone that actaully had a sex drive to speak of.

gotta do the dad duty and stick about as its not about me anymore,but that dont rule out hired entertainment.

god i`m a romantic!!!

 

To quote Benny Hill, "Why buy a book when there's a perfectly good library in town"