Refusing a shag - am I a mug?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TaffYorkie, Jul 30, 2008.

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  1. It's not very often that I get the offer of a NSA shag, but last night it happened, and I refused. I'm feeling like a complete mug!

    I'm away on business and there is no way that Mrs TY would find out, unless the scabs on my c0ck gave it away!

    I was sitting at the bar watching family fortunes whenever this girl sat beside me. We got chatting. She was from Boston (apparently...) and was married to some Swedish bloke. She talked with the weirdest American accent, and said Nein and Ja instead of no and yes, in some sort of Moseleyesque type fantasy. Made me very suspicious from the off. No harm in chatting though. After pint no. 8 I get up to break the seal. When I come back I notice the wedding rings are off. I sit down again, and she just comes off with it... "I came here tonight to find someone to go home with, will you fcuk me hard?"...

    Being the shy retiring type 8) I didn't know what to say, so instead I got up and said I was leaving, and asked her if she was coming with me. We got outside to catch the tram back to my apartment, when the spider sense kicked in. I got the full story about how she didn't want to be married, and that she didn't want the green card...

    Something just didn't feel right. She was hot, and everytime I asked her about this weird accent, I couldn't get a straight answer, so before the tram came I blew her out...

    I was suspicious as hell, and the pangs of guilt kicked in...

    Am I a mug, and should I have rid her bareback and covered her in man fat, or was I right to pay attention to the spider sense? It hasn't let me down yet...
  2. Did she have nice t*ts?
    You sure she wasnt a bloke or something?
  3. You definitely did the right thing. Despite the ale your quick appreciation was bang on (or bang not, as it turned out). Best possible outcome from going with her, worst possible outcome, probabilities each way.......emptying your sacks versus disease, robbery, mad husband....
  4. ....incidentally, a long time ago I had nearly the same thing, only Chinese American, I was completely minging and had lost the contact lenses so didn't realise her boyfriend was there and was giving us the evils. Had the sordid encounter, bounced down the corridor only to bump into said boyfriend. Could easily have been stabbed, and some would say deserved it.
  5. Spyder senses are normally numbed by drink...I think you done the right thing..however there will be that tinge of regret.

    I bet you had a good w@nk agfter tho
  6. She was a girl, although she did say she was very masculine, but did however make the effort to reassure me that she didn't have a c0ck and balls. Tits were alright I suppose. Not exactly huge... suppose they could have been man boobs...

    Definitely a good move I think... something was very wrong... I think the bunny would've been boiling in the morning!!!

    I had a good disease free thrap instead!!! Same outcome - less grief!!!
  7. its ok we all understand! you have been fighting this all your life! just admit what we all know!!

    gay boy!!

    just tell your wife the truth!!!!!
  8. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Stranger sex is for people to lazy to have a wank!

  9. not only are you a mug, you are also a shameful excuse for a man. You might as well push your nuts through a blender because they clearly are no use to you.
  10. Did you happen to have a decent amount of cash on you at all?
    If you did I bet it wouldn't have been there in the morning. Where was this by the way?
  11. then he might have just regained my respect. Anything less than 20 stab wounds to her genitals would just be doing a half arrsed job.
  12. Laziness.

    Nothing less than arfully laid out ovaries is good enough for the discerning serial killer.
  13. you sir, are an artist.
  14. You complete and utter fcuking knobjockey :rage: . It was Jan the Man after a bit of sympathy hence the strange dodgy accent. You could have a had a bit of alternative sex there you muppet.. Even if your wife had found out you could have sold your story to NOTW for a tidy sum and become a Naafi Break legend :worship: .