Red Eye

#1
After reading MDN critique of Thrap Admin I have got to thinking of the joys of red eye.
I have always been lucky as all bar one of my ex-girlfriends has been a swallower. Now about five years ago I was seeing this student who was great in the sack but could not suck a cok to save her life, I'm not joking she was terrible - zero style or technique, needles to say she did not swallow.
I wont go into detail but I ended up blowing my load into her face while we were at her parents for Sunday lunch and most of it went into her right eye turning it bright red. I was a bit concerned as the Hex was complaining that it was stinging badly and that I was a bar-stard. At first I was concerned for my dear, sweet and beautiful lovers well being, but after the first two seconds concern had given way to pride and "I bet you wish you'd swallowed". Oh How I beamed with pride at the dinner table as her Father asked what was up with the little strumpetts eye ball. Since then I have tried to master the art of "Accidental Red Eye".
Red Eye - Sport of Kings or Degrading to Women?
 
#2
Sport of kings, surely. My mate managed to get one off in his lass's eye once. From then on, whenever he meets someone around here they always say 'Oh wow, aren't you that guy that spaffed in that girls eye?! Nice one!' or something similar...
 
#3
Sport of kings definitely...should also get some into the hair. It is just as much fun as an eyeball shot but is much harder for the poor dear to remedy. Good drills LVH by the way in unloading before dinner...
 
#4
For the dare devils among us try lying on your back getting your legs over your head so your c0ck is pointing right at your face then keep your eyes open when you spaff. If you get it in your eyes watch for the knowing looks off female co workers the next day
My own contribution to that thread i recommend trying it to prove your valour maybe in 1000 years it will have evolved into a test of manhood for young warriors. Or maybe its the homoerotic ramblings of a sad perv who knows?
 
#5
Consider yourself lucky to have a female who will even look "eye to japs-eye" with your todger.Some of us married types haven't had that luxury in years.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#6
I have always found the 'Badminton Face Like A Painters Radio Competition' scoring system works well.

Points for content:

In the eye - 5 points

In the hair - 5 points

In the ear - 5 points

Spunk bubble down the nose - 10 points

Bonus points for artistic interpretation if uttered by family / friends:

"Your mascara has run" - 5 points

"You have got something in your hair. Here, let me" - 5 points
 
#7
Sport of Kings! My wife doesn't understand why she has to put up with it. However, once I explain to her that the jewelry she wears and the fancy sports car she drives does not come free, she shuts her gob and opens her eyes. Sport of Kings? Too bloody right it is!
 
#9
Reminds one of the joke:

I had a wank over my ex last night. I know its wrong but well, I've still got a key and she's a very heavy sleeper..
 
#10
ash_p said:
Sport of kings, surely. My mate managed to get one off in his lass's eye once. From then on, whenever he meets someone around here they always say 'Oh wow, aren't you that guy that spaffed in that girls eye?! Nice one!' or something similar...
Current Squeeze once asked me to blow my load on her stocking clad legs, I took up position at the foot of the bed, took careful aim and got her in the eyes and mouth. I will have that engraved on my tomb stone. :D :D
 
#14
LordVonHarley said:
Current Squeeze once asked me to blow my load on her stocking clad legs,
Can I come for tea?
 
#15
Personal favourite is the hair anyday try and get it right under then it goes all sticky and clumps together they look like a right twaat. But fairplay on geting it in her eye before dinner obviously wanted a starter. i bow down for getting it on her face from the fot of the bed how tall or short was she?
 
#16
LordVonHarley said:
Red Eye - Sport of Kings or Degrading to Women?
And the correct answer is.... BOTH... of course.. :roll:

The only bint one shouldn't apply a liberal coat of baby gravy to their boat race are those that actually get off on it as they frig themselves silly. Ok, maybe once or twice for novalty value, but after that there's a sense of great satisfaction of a 'deliberate miss', mess on the only blouse they have to hand and ruining their magic moment... :D
 
#17
one-flew-over said:
Bloody hell LVH - was she a dwarf or have you got an indirect fire weapon!
She's 5'2"
I think it had some thing to do with not seeing each other for a month and going at it like crazed randy rabbits with balls the size of melons. My best mate had a similar long rang shot. He was seeing this Mexican posh totty, he was making sweet love to her in the doggy position, jack hammering away trying to dig tunnels, pulls out, rips off the johnny and looses control and shoots his bolt over her head and SPLAT! on to the wall where it dribbled down to eye hight. I can not confirm nor deny that a dubious stain was left on the expensive wall paper or if it true as it was told over several pints in the pub :D
 
#18
the female perspective (disclaimer-this applies only to me)

i believe it depends on the relationship between the shooter and shootee... actually having experienced getting a c*m shot in the eye myself from a lovely lad i am madly in lust with i must admit i thought it was pretty humourous. especially as all his mates were jumping about holding their legs and yelling AAARRRGGHHH a la Angry Pirate...isn't this the same thing? wait, am on the right thread? must get back to Thrap Admin

btw i did not have the pleasure of my eye turning to scarlet, robot type/terminator appearance

clarification: his mates were jumping about the next day, not at the moment of the money shot
 
#19
littlepinkknickers said:
the female perspective (disclaimer-this applies only to me)

i believe it depends on the relationship between the shooter and shootee... actually having experienced getting a c*m shot in the eye myself from a lovely lad i am madly in lust with i must admit i thought it was pretty humourous. especially as all his mates were jumping about holding their legs and yelling AAARRRGGHHH a la Angry Pirate...isn't this the same thing? wait, am on the right thread? must get back to Thrap Admin

btw i did not have the pleasure of my eye turning to scarlet, robot type/terminator appearance

clarification: his mates were jumping about the next day, not at the moment of the money shot
:judge:
 
#20
littlepinkknickers said:
the female perspective (disclaimer-this applies only to me)

i believe it depends on the relationship between the shooter and shootee... actually having experienced getting a c*m shot in the eye myself from a lovely lad i am madly in lust with i must admit i thought it was pretty humourous. especially as all his mates were jumping about holding their legs and yelling AAARRRGGHHH a la Angry Pirate...isn't this the same thing? wait, am on the right thread? must get back to Thrap Admin

btw i did not have the pleasure of my eye turning to scarlet, robot type/terminator appearance

clarification: his mates were jumping about the next day, not at the moment of the money shot
Did he say it was an accident?

If you post a photo of your red eye the Arrse panel of Judges will give you your scores ...... if you are lucky your boyfriend will get the "Red Eye Sniper Badge" :D
 

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