Recovery from Stroke

Yokel

LE
yokel - have you applied for carers aloowance for teh full time care you are giving you mum and have you applied for attendace allowance fro her to assist with equiopment and service costs?

If not, please do so promptly. Attendance allowance is a 34 page form full of repeats designed to wheedle out what the applicant has habituated to as their normal and what is a reasonable everyone else's normal.

Support for carers is also to be had and necessary - it costs councils far less to support a carer with respite than it does to take over complex late lifestage care when the carer goes down. Even knowing yiu have a reliable sitter fro a couple of hours a week so you can go to the gym / pub / cinema / whatever to meet frineds once a week makes a huge difference to coping

Don't know where you are based, but Taking a break - Carers UK


Paramedics / A&E / ward staff / social workers drummed this into me

Regrettably I have applied for Carers' Allowance. Until her setbacks a few years ago I was only help as and when, and was able to work part time, even working away for a couple of weeks at a time. Since she has been bedbound I have been a lot more limited in what I can do - and frustratingly I did not get local jobs where the hours would have fitted. Hopefully this will improve when we improve Mum's mobility.

However I do wonder why I cannot work from home - I can think of ways of using my technical background and passion for manufacturing.

As I have hinted at elsewhere the last few years have been pretty brutal for me, and Mum has been a source of support. It would be nice to have friends to meet up with once in a while, but I do not have any. Some of the events of the last few years have made me reassess past relationships and activities.
 
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We are that age. Chin up, keep talking here. We are listening. And posting your experiences as you have been doing will help others on the same path. Even online contact is a help and a start.

We relaunch our social lives at different points in our lives and l50s or so are a period when we question everything and wonder if we are the problem. We all go through this. Consider it a reverse puberty and a reset for the next stage of life and choose what you want to od instead of regarding it as a set of closed doors, look at it as new gateways and consider which ones would be of use on interest to you. Go slowly and at your own speed. A little each day.

Tedtalks are very interesting and useful on a huge variety of subjects. Some are 15 mins some 5 mins . There will be some amusing and some practically informative talks on the stepchange of late middle age on there. They have entertained me, made me think recharged my interest, been useful and restocked my conversational topics- all in a conveniently short format
 
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Regrettably I have applied for Carers' Allowance. Until her setbacks a few years ago I was only help as and when, and was able to work part time, even working away for a couple of weeks at a time. Since she has been bedbound I have been a lot more limited in what I can do - and frustratingly I did not get local jobs where the hours would have fitted. Hopefully this will improve when we improve Mum's mobility.

However I do wonder why I cannot work from home - I can think of ways of using my technical background and passion for manufacturing.

As I have hinted at elsewhere the last few years have been pretty brutal for me, and Mum has been a source of support. It would be nice to have friends to meet up with once in a while, but I do not have any. Some of the events of the last few years have made me reassess past relationships and activities.
I know what you mean, people evaporate.
For what it's worth, I'd rate you as comfortably in the top 10 good eggs on here.
Really hope it works out for you & mum.
 

Yokel

LE
We are that age. Chin up, keep talking here. We are listening. And posting your experiences as you have been doing will help others on the same path. Even online contact is a help and a start.

We relaunch our social lives at different points in our lives and l50s or so are a period when we question everything and wonder if we are the problem. We all go through this. Consider it a reverse puberty and a reset for the next stage of life and choose what you want to od instead of regarding it as a set of closed doors, look at it as new gateways and consider which ones would be of use on interest to you. Go slowly and at your own speed. A little each day.

Tedtalks are very interesting and useful on a huge variety of subjects. Some are 15 mins some 5 mins . There will be some amusing and some practically informative talks on the stepchange of late middle age on there. They have entertained me, made me think recharged my interest, been useful and restocked my conversational topics- all in a conveniently short format

Thanks - I am not sure that I am old enough for some of that. The main reason for posting on this thread is to share thoughts and ideas, and to see if anyone has helpful ideas, but it does help to get it off my chest.

I know what you mean, people evaporate.
For what it's worth, I'd rate you as comfortably in the top 10 good eggs on here.
Really hope it works out for you & mum.

I doubt that anyone shares that opinion!

Reputation is everything. Unfortunately at the same time as dealing with being a carer I was having extremely malicious rumours spread about me, by someone implicated in a complaint I had made - and it was upheld. These rumours worried people and led to my exclusion from my social group. Combined with the loss of my records that brought things to a grinding stop.
 
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Damnation, that
Thanks - I am not sure that I am old enough for some of that. The main reason for posting on this thread is to share thoughts and ideas, and to see if anyone has helpful ideas, but it does help to get it off my chest.



I doubt that anyone shares that opinion!

Reputation is everything. Unfortunately at the same time as dealing with being a carer I was having extremely malicious rumours spread about me, by someone implicated in a complaint I had made - and it was upheld. These rumours worried people and led to my exclusion from my social group. Combined with the loss of my records that brought things to s grinding stop.
goddam, that's awful!
I stand by my statement , the first pint's on me (even the creme de menthe). Keep on keeping on, mister, and the very best of British luck.
 
meetup will be your source then - caters for a generally younger set than we fall into.
 

Yokel

LE
More fun today. Whilst eating her morning crumpets Mum managed to dislodged a Crown - a Jacket Cap on one of her front teeth - no idea what that means. The attempt to find a dentist who can visit was frustrating, to say the least.

Contacted her old dental practice - no longer a patient due to the time she had treatment. Dental helpline suggested. Tried dental helpline - waited over 45 minutes and decided to call 111 instead. Called 111, answered questions, referred to dental helpline. Talked to dental helpline and give numbers for local practices that should be able to help.

Practice#1 - no - they do not do that. Practice#2 - normally they would be able to help, but the dentist who did the home visits has retired and his replacement does not start until September. Practice#3 - they do indeed specialise in that, but we are in the wrong part of the county. Practice #4 - have you tried Practice#2? Practice#5 - might be able to help, and you might be in range - someone will phone you back today or tomorrow.

Meanwhile the local NHS has a limited domiciliary dental service - but only on referral.

As promised, the nurse from Practice#5 phoned, but she said we are outside their catchment area. She suggested Practice#2 - and said she knew of current issues.

As there is a limited NHS domiciliary dental service in the area; but it requires referral, I contacted the GP's practice. The receptionist said she would leave a note for Mum's doctor and his secretary. I will also speak to the nurse tomorrow. I will kick myself if it turns out that I could have arranged this for her several years ago.
 
we can only do so much. I cocked up attendance allowance
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
As promised, the nurse from Practice#5 phoned, but she said we are outside their catchment area. She suggested Practice#2 - and said she knew of current issues.

As there is a limited NHS domiciliary dental service in the area; but it requires referral, I contacted the GP's practice. The receptionist said she would leave a note for Mum's doctor and his secretary. I will also speak to the nurse tomorrow. I will kick myself if it turns out that I could have arranged this for her several years ago.

Contact your MP and copy in the the chief executive and chair of your local health board.
I can assure you that it will speed up the process.
 

Yokel

LE
Mum had a visit from the OT and Physiotherapist this morning. They got her out of bed with the hoist and into her new wheelchair. A few problems to be fine tuned, but it was the first time for ages, and the first time with a new wheelchair.

Some progress at least. The trouble is consolidating it and maintaining speed as well as direction.
 
Nice one! Do know the one step forward two steps back - finally got my mum to accept a transfer wheelchair to taxi her about to interesting places that she could then get out and walk around. It has been a long campaign. Previous outings have therefore been limited to a partial walk around supermarkets or pubs with parking directly outside.
 

Yokel

LE
Contact your MP and copy in the the chief executive and chair of your local health board.
I can assure you that it will speed up the process.

The saga continues - there is a local NHS domiciliary dental service, but it needs a referral. Their website claims that:

If you are having difficulty obtaining dental treatment from an NHS general dental practitioner and believe you are eligible to be treated by the community dental service you can ask your doctor, dentist or other health care professional to refer you to the service.

The doctors think the referral needs to be from a dentist and suggested phoning 111. I did was given the defeatist of another practice who cannot help. As they have just merged the two local NHS trusts I am unsure where to send my letter.
 
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Yokel

LE
Scrub that....

I spoke the the doctor's secretary yesterday, who promised to get him to phone me. In the meantime I sent an e-mail with the above link and quote to the practice. The doctor phoned so I gave him the link, and he spoke to Mum and filled out the form.

Letter written and saved just in case.

This reinforces my belief that most problems are caused or made worse by the failure to keep accurate information, or to get it to the right people at the right time.
 
glad there is movement forward, be it only inch by inch
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Scrub that....

I spoke the the doctor's secretary yesterday, who promised to get him to phone me. In the meantime I sent an e-mail with the above link and quote to the practice. The doctor phoned so I gave him the link, and he spoke to Mum and filled out the form.

Letter written and saved just in case.

This reinforces my belief that most problems are caused or made worse by the failure to keep accurate information, or to get it to the right people at the right time.

The majority of problems are caused by receptionists who rigidly adhere to what they think the system should be rather than actually facilitating patients' access to the services they require.
 

Yokel

LE
The majority of problems are caused by receptionists who rigidly adhere to what they think the system should be rather than actually facilitating patients' access to the services they require.

There is a large amount of truth in that. The receptionist said it was not the doctor was unable to refer, but I pressed the issue after having seen the site with my own eyes. Some NHS services are very fussy about who they will accept referrals from. I have seen the problem elsewhere - reliance on written rules at the expense of common sense and personal judgement. This is by no means an NHS problem.

No policy = de facto policy of doing nothing.
 
No policy = de facto policy of doing nothing.
No policy, just like no defined process = everyone sets their own (unwritten) policy and implements their own process.
 

Yokel

LE
No news about the dentistry issue. Early days, or should I have printed and posted that letter to our MP?

Last Thursday Mum enjoyed a visit from her nephew (ie my cousin) and his wife who were on holiday locally. It was nice to see them and Mum certainly enjoyed talking about the old days, including when she used to take him and his sisters out as children. Despite her lack of mobility until she gets further rehabilitation and/or equipment she still has all her marbles.
 

Yokel

LE
Still no news of the dentist.

Mum had meant to be having some rehab work today, with the Physiotherapist and the Occupational Therapist to help hoist her out of bed and into a chair. However, her blood pressure was high, and experience shows that hoisting her causes it to rise. Hoisting abandoned.

For another reason Mum's doctor spoke to her on the phone, and he had a word with the OT. I/we are to take Mum's blood pressure for three days and then the doctor will consider whether or not she needs medication to lower it.

Frustrating - but at least they did have a chat with her and learnt that Mum is a least eating reasonably well.
 

Yokel

LE
Still no news of the dentist - perhaps I do need to write to our MP and the Chief Executive of the NHS trust? I did try to look them up, but following a merger of the North Devon Healthcare Trust and the Royal Devon and Exeter trust, I am not even sure were the trust HQ is.

No news of the OT/Physio.

The latest piece of joy is that Mum said yesterday that for several months she had been having problems with her right eye, and real trouble seeing out if it, but the other eye is alright and she watches TV and reads. I know that her late sister had a bit of AMD. Apparently Mum did not want to worry anyone - FFS this is why we worry! I sent e-mail to her doctor (not in today), also she spoke to the nurse about it.

After worrying me with that yesterday, the worry of which made it hard for me to eat, Mum happily munched away at a mixed grill followed by cheesecake.
 

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