uncle_vanya
LE
(Borrowed from Forces Reunited Website.... possibly been done before....)
Drafting Guys over 60----this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier-
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks Im too old to track down terrorists. You cant be older than 42 to join the military. Theyve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldnt be able to join a military unit until youre at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys havent lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. My back hurts! I cant sleep, Im tired and hungry We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesnt even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, Im tired and cant sleep and since Im already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldnt spill the beans because wed forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. Were used to getting screamed and yelled at and were used to soft food. Weve also developed an appreciation for guns. Weve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. Ive been in combat and didnt see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. Ive never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. Hes still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasnt figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head..
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harms way..
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ....in menopause!!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... They will have it secured the first night.
Drafting Guys over 60----this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier-
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks Im too old to track down terrorists. You cant be older than 42 to join the military. Theyve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldnt be able to join a military unit until youre at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys havent lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. My back hurts! I cant sleep, Im tired and hungry We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesnt even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, Im tired and cant sleep and since Im already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldnt spill the beans because wed forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. Were used to getting screamed and yelled at and were used to soft food. Weve also developed an appreciation for guns. Weve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. Ive been in combat and didnt see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. Ive never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. Hes still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasnt figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head..
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harms way..
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ....in menopause!!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... They will have it secured the first night.