Realistic Inspirational Posters

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Guest
#1
Does anyone work in an office where they put those fcuking annoying inspirational posters up? They really grip my s h i t.

They usually have a photo of an eagle soaring or a goat stood atop a precipitous mountain. Underneath, theres always a bollox statement intended to make you work harder, like "It's only when your at the top of the mountain, that you can look down on the clouds". What the fcuk does that mean?!?!?!

Far better to have posters that people can instantly relate to. Like a photo of a bloke stood outside a pub with one hand resting on a lampost, as he empties the contents of his stomach into the gutter, with the tagline "Better out than in." Now thats one I understand.

Anyone got any other suggestions?
 
#2
"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines"
 
#4
Convoy_Cock said:
"It's only when your at the top of the mountain, that you can look down on the clouds". What the fcuk does that mean?!?!?!
Smoke plenty of what I've got Convoy, then you'll understand :p


We have a good one in work, about grassing up your workmates if you believe they are doing something against the company. There's even a free phone number ! I HATE my boss, and in time, I will make a call about his endless expenses claims and see what happens !! :twisted:
 
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Guest
#5
Running with the theme, i'd love to have a poster, that was meant to deter your boss from giving you s h i t despite the fact that you would have killed him in the milling.

The poster would show a bruiser, burying his fist into a pot bellied, 4 foot 2 slaphead, with the tagline.

"Don't fcuking start, right?"
 
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error_unknown

Guest
#7
Not at all mate, i'm a very mellow geezer. I just think that having a milling ring instead of endless meetings would help the company run far more smoothly, and provide lunchtime entertainment.

Some of the blimps we've got for bosses in this gaff could do with the exercise, and i'd love to see their faces as the QMSI (Or civilian equivalent) rang the bell

I work right next door to Victoria Baths (The one that won the Restoration programme).
 
#8
Running with the theme, i'd love to have a poster, that was meant to deter your boss from giving you s h i t despite the fact that you would have killed him in the milling
Please have a look at the Demotivators web site I posted the link to above. I'm sure you will find exactly what you're looking for as it is a total satire of the motivational poster brigade.
 
#11
My favorite one for fashion victims and other civvy types

 
#13
"The Army is like a tree full of monkeys.........when those at the top look down, they see nothing but smiling faces. When those at the bottom look up.....they see nothing but arseholes!"
 
#16
"having a milling ring instead of endless meetings would help the company run far more smoothly"....

Oh, yes. The very small person (not physically, you understand) who delights in these experiences in my lot would certainly benefit from a military minute with me.
 
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Guest
#17
It's Monday morning and it's five whole days to the weekend, but the thought of milling with the boss is keeping me going. He's walked past my desk twice this morning, and looked slightly confused at the fact that I was smiling at him.

Little did my Ronnie-Corbett-like friend realise, that I was imagining him in a big pair of Laurel and Hardy boxing gloves, with shorts pulled up to his raspberry-ripples, piping tizer down his inner thigh at the thought of the pummelling he was about to receive.

Don't worry, nothing is going to happen, i've read the Army pamphlet on rage control, (Army doc 543/711) which quotes:

"When feeling angry, do not give vent to your feelings in an articulate and well thought through manner. Simply spend years compressing the ire into a smaller and more poisonous ball every day, taking each insult, real or perceived and adding it to this festering, revenge globe. Then simply release it at a completely unexpected and inappropriate moment, a wedding service, perhaps".
 
#18
LOLOLOLOL@Convoy cock, top post mate

Never imagines someone in authority like that, must do so in future instead of gobbing off and speaking my mind :D
 

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