Real Screamer

#1
Dear All,

A friend of mine has a flat on the second floor, but is unable to get any sleep due to a 'screamer' on the ground floor.

What can people suggest (diplomatic or otherwise) to persuade this couple to quieten down. The bloke on the ground floor is a teacher and half term is approaching.

Cheers,
msr

P.S. I recommended going down in a dressing gown, knocking on the door and saying "Do you mind, you're putting me off my stroke."
 
#2
Yeah- tell your mate to make an audio recording of events and play it outside the staffroom window during a staff meeting one evening at top volume. Think he'll get the idea.
 
#3
The last time this happened to me I knocked on the door and told the participants in the somewhat vigorous bout of horizontal bedspring aerobics that seeing as they were treating me to the soundtrack that it would be positively rude of them not to allow me a "viewing" to complete the experience.
 
E

ex-dvr

Guest
#4
Tell him to enjoy the experience.
Or tell his teacher friend he should give up, if they have enough energy to scream, he's not doing it right!!
 
#5
I told a friend of mine that LOTS of people in the area could hear him and his missus at it as she was ' a touch too vocal' and that I was just making him aware.  He didn't take it too well at the time, but he got the message and we have remained mates for over 20 years.  JUst tell him and get it over with, if you tell him in 6 months time, he'll wonder why you didn't tell him sooner. :eek: ::) :eek: ::) :eek:
 
#6
If your mate is on the second floor and Lassie is on the ground floor, maybe we should feel more sorry for the poor bu**er who's on the first.
 
#9
Drill a hole in floor so he can watch and have a milk. When he reaches his vinegar, he should thrap into the hole and onto the offending culprits.
 
E

ex-dvr

Guest
#10
Is in qtrs? get the families offices involved. put posters up in the area, eventually you will embarrass them to move.

Failing that tell them the noise turns you on and can I join in next time?
 
#11
The lads tell me all the noises they here in the block.....being married I miss out on all this .
    'CUM IN MY HAIR'......being the most heard of....coming from different rooms this same girl has been requesting this from different blokes...
'PUNCH ME IN THE KIDNEYS'......is another favourite apparently......
    And you young lads complain about block life.
 
#12
course, he could just ask to join in each time he hears it...either he'll be allowed or they will do it as quietly as possible so as not to alert him!
 
#14
:DIn the end there are higher and lower levels of passion and........ ???

Bollocks to that call the police and tell them it sounds like someone is being murdered  ;D
 
#15
I remember lying in bed one night in the 39 Bde Sgts Mess Annex(Portacabins) listening to two of the Carrickfergus Commandos discussing in loud drunken voices who was going to sleep with the Branch Sgt (P*** Z******) and who was going to sleep with the CP WO2 (J*** O'******).

It went,

First Voice "What I wanna know is WTF's going on here."

Second Voice "Well. Whose gonna fu6k me you or him?."

Lovely ladies!
 
#16
As an O/Cdt I was on guard at Fremington Camp. Whilst on prowler patrol I heard what sounded like a murder from behind the MT sheds and ran to save somebody, armed with trusty right angle torch and pick helve. As I rounded the corner, a fellow male O/Cdt stopped what he was doing (i.e. a female O/Cdt) and ran away drunkenly pulling his trousers up.

The female cadet was obviously still in need so I manfully filled his boots so to speak and brought her to a satisfactory conclusion. On return to the guard Room I wrote in the log NTR and had a luncheon meat sandwich. Happy Days...
 
#17
Cuddles said:
As an O/Cdt I was on guard at Fremington Camp. Whilst on prowler patrol I heard what sounded like a murder from behind the MT sheds and ran to save somebody, armed with trusty right angle torch and pick helve. As I rounded the corner, a fellow male O/Cdt stopped what he was doing (i.e. a female O/Cdt) and ran away drunkenly pulling his trousers up.

The female cadet was obviously still in need so I manfully filled his boots so to speak and brought her to a satisfactory conclusion. On return to the guard Room I wrote in the log NTR and had a luncheon meat sandwich. Happy Days...

never miss an opportunity! so did she like the helve?
 
#18
admag said:
Cuddles said:
As an O/Cdt I was on guard at Fremington Camp. Whilst on prowler patrol I heard what sounded like a murder from behind the MT sheds and ran to save somebody, armed with trusty right angle torch and pick helve. As I rounded the corner, a fellow male O/Cdt stopped what he was doing (i.e. a female O/Cdt) and ran away drunkenly pulling his trousers up.

The female cadet was obviously still in need so I manfully filled his boots so to speak and brought her to a satisfactory conclusion. On return to the guard Room I wrote in the log NTR and had a luncheon meat sandwich. Happy Days...

never miss an opportunity! so did she like the helve?
Ah that was embarrassing come our relief in the morning, when we had to hand over minus one helve because I left it up her!

She was a bit of a slapper to be fair to me but then again it was not the first time I had enjoyed her pleasures...
 
#19
He could ask them to do it in the morning so he could use them as an alarm clock?

Or ask a friend to join him and they go downstairs (looking like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards) and say "we tried to out scream you but we're here to congratulate you on winning that one"
 
#20
Some bird I used to "do'' had a habit of breaking into uncontrolable hysterical laughter everytime she had an orgasm which was very often.One day I'm walking up the stairs and I hear her laughing (I was two floors down -that's how loud she could get.) I walk into the room and she is on the sofa touching herself while in the throes of an orgasm.The laughing got so bad we actually thought of seeking medical help.In the end I figured it would be easier and cheaper to just break up.

She was less scary that my other bedmate who would pass out cold and go into violent convulsions during sex.Those were scary times... ^^\'
 
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