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Real or False

Quite simple really.Which do you prefer,real ones or false ones ?
Christmas Trees of course ! What were you thinking of,dirty buggers ?

Stand back and light the blue touch paper


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I'd have a real one if practicality allowed.

Unfortunately I live in a borough which is run by the 4th Reich, therefore I am stuck with the fucking thing long after Christmas has finished. I can't burn it (no fires allowed), I can't put it in my car and take it to the dump (too much mess and the dump is miles away) and the bin men won't take it away, therefore I have a good quality plastic one which will suffice for another year until I move to my big house in the Countryside, miles away from any council Nazis.
I prefer real ones until they get saggy then plastic all the way, unless of course they are not a very good shape or size in the first place in which case I would recommend plastic not the real thing.

Why do christmas trees start to sag in January? Probably the fact that they have been non too surgically removed from their roots but I didn't do biology at school.
Real every time. Its the smell of them in the mornings when you first come down stairs.

As for disposal well I bought a garden shredder of e-bay for £15 that'll do most of it and then the trunk can get cut into small sections and either put into the recyling bin or chucked in the main bin if you haven't got a green one.
Real ? Is any Christmas tree really 'real' ? Oh, Victoriana, oh mores.... The only real things about Christmas are the shock to my liver, kidneys and guts and the shocks I give to relatives whilst inducing the former. Trees? Hardly notice......
Real, preferably very large, ideally still growing beside a road. They have a magnetic attraction for underbrained chavs driving overpowered cars.

Self-decorating, too - why bother with all that naff tinsel and tawdry baubles? Just wait until the echo of the impact has faded, and trot down with Hortense and Jasper. Watch their little eyes light up with glee as they correctly identify the new pretties that weren't there this morning on the way to pony club.

'Look daddy, there's a Burberry cap with a scalp still attached!'
'Very good, darling'

'Daddy, there's an arse with a driveshaft through it!'
'Clever boy, have some smarties'
I used to prefer real ones in the UK, but here they are even more outrageoulsy expensive than than the UK (and I used to pay about GBP120 for a 9 foot tree).

We found a cracking plastic tree in the local market - about 8 feet tall with built in lights, which makes life soooo much easier.

Er, some sneaky cnut has actually got us talking about Christmas before October is out. Is that a record? If so pass the mess Browning ( so much more up to date than the old Webley..... ) for I did bite, oh, and do you prefer lamb or pork in your mince pies at this time of year?
Oh fcuk all of that crap..........I live in Saudi where it is totally forbidden to celibrate.....il hamdi lillah!!!
Surely not? I thought that the Mosselmen were great believers in multi-cultural societies, and respecting other religions - at least that's what they demand in the UK...
Indeed Joe, I believe the Al- Saud muslim democrats kindly turn down the offer of a Christmas tree from Norway year after year. Thankfully the Norwegians can't read the replies to their offers, otherwise planeloads of vikings would be out to teach religious re-education, old-style.

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