'Real exercise'

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by Cold_Collation, Jul 6, 2011.

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  1. Cold_Collation

    Cold_Collation LE Book Reviewer

    I can't help thinking this might belong in the NAAFI Bar but WTF here goes:

    Werewolf has just said in the 'Stuff that annoys me in the gym thread' that, "The only people who should be allowed to use cardio machines are those who suffer from such debilitating injuries that real exercise is dangerous to them."

    So, just for sh1ts and giggles - what constitutes 'real exercise'?
  2. Eating plain crisps, drinking real ale and playing bar skittles.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Since you've already taken my name in vain...

    1)Bodyweight exercises.

    2)Free Weight compound exercises; Squat, Bench, Deadlift etc.

    3)Outdoor cardio: running, sprints(flat or hill) etc.

    4)Swimming IF it's done with enough effort.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. opening twenty regal.
  5. Swinging from the chandeliers.
  6. 1) Outdoor phys (I prefer running) which includes a **** off hill - this can be on or off road!

    2) "Real exercise" lasts for more than 1 hour

    3) Points 1 & 2 from Wolfie (sorry mate - I'm shit at swimming so tend to avoid it!)
  7. Zen


    A decent ****?
  8. If you can get your heart-rate into the training range and keep it there for more than 20 minutes - you should making Porn films for a living!:shock::hump::biggrin:
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Zen


    Quality idea. I'll film a few young dolly birds using the equipment naked while one of them gives a blowie. if that doesn't keep the heart going, nothing will.:thumright:
  10. We used to measure a man on his ability to down a pint and smoke a fag in less than a minute as opposed to what he could do in the gym to see if he would fit in our mold.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Just remember to thank me in your acceptance speech when you pick up your AVN Award.:thumleft:
  12. Feck me, I can achieve that just looking for the dvd remote.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Throw in some cycling and you've covered the regime that makes me the uber-gnarly Ironman triathlete that I am.
    As for the swimming, open water wherever possible.
  14. :? surely for it to be classed as 'exercise' there would have to be exertion involved? I'm confused now....I exert myself as much when I'm shagging as I do lying on the sofa eating doughnuts! Does this mean lying on the sofa eating doughnuts now constitutes athleticism? And if so, when will it be incorporated into the 'Lympics, cos I'd be ******* ACE at it!
  15. Zen


    ******* you wouldn't need any excercise from either of us, since it would be just like trying to **** a bouncy castle but without the fun.