Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by PNTTR, Dec 2, 2005.

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  1. The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

    Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

    It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

    The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainfularrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They also have two higher levels: "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they worry about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
  2. The Americans have increased their "Def Cawn" from the normal "Stormtrooper With Attitude, Slot the Kids Who Throw Stones At Us, Just The One Abrams At the Front Gate" to er change. And that's just in Alabama.
    Always maxxed out, the Loons.
  3. BuggerAll

    BuggerAll LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    China is considering moving from: Tianemen (Clamp down on internal dissent) to Ex TIAWAN (Sabre Rattle in the direction of the brake away province of Tiawan) OP TIAWAN is often threatened but is unlikly to be put into practise as it might annoy YANKEE. Mind you with YANKEE looking the other way - all is possible.