Re-taking the Pegasus Bridge - Plan B

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Stained_Eligius, Jul 7, 2005.

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  1. Over on the infantry forum there is an interesting thread about the theoretical re-taking of Pegasus Bridge in a modern setting with todays equipment and capabilities. Here is a proposed plan from that thread:

    From: Felixthefox

    Medium size force of SF approx 50 inserted by helo far away.
    They get close at set time hit the initial defences reinforced by helo within minutes.
    Enemy armour held back by close air support.
    Hold out until friendly armour can arrive.

    Sounds good. Bit conventional though.. :( Thought we could have a go in here rather than drag theirs off-topic

    There MUST be other methods, tactics or equipments that might not initially seem like battle-winners, but which may just turn out to be the key to taking the bridge.

    In addition to infantry, gliders and armour, I'm going with puppies and dolphins.

    Right. The infantry board the gliders. Each infantryman is carrying a puppy in his backpack. Two freshwater dolphins are strapped inside wet blankets to the underside of each glider's wings. The gliders follow the course of the Caen canal. Once within 1km of the landing site they drop to 30ft and drop the dolphins into the water, make a bank turn and execute a textbook landing 300m from the bridge. The dolphins hear human voices and instinctively head off to the germans at the bridge to see if anyone there has a ball. By now, the infantry is in position at the bridge and has released the puppies. These follow the trail of meaty chunks previously thrown by the infantry until they come into view of the germans. No-one can resist a puppy and the germans are no different. To a man, they put down their MPs, go down on one knee and start beckoning the pups. Just then the dolphins turn up. Those that didn't get a puppy immediately go over to the railing and become entranced by their "almost human, magical" antics. A german sentry finds a beachball left over from his Atlantic Wall posting and throws it to the dolphins. The infantry have all selected individual targets by now. A flare goes up which frightens the puppies who sprint back to the infantry. Head shots all round. The infantry, under strict orders not to look at the dolphins, then steams in and takes the bridge almost unopposed. A final, single shot takes out the ball leaving the dolphins with nothing to do and they quickly become bored and fin off downstream. Any demolition charges under the bridge can be defused at leisure. Call armour forward and hang on for 24 hours knowing air support is only a call away.


    Edited to add that ANY battle in history is allowed. :)
     
  2. With todays methods, no need for Puppies or Dolphins. A 'simple' HAHO insertion with the right numbers and you could get the right number of troops to be effective and close enough without being noticed, to do the job.

    Simple.
     
  3. Yeah, probably PP, not very imaginative though. You could have got that into the serious thread!

    quick edit
     
  4. Sod the puppies, bring in a few dolly birds in micro skirts and heels and don't forget a right munter as there is allways some sicko who likes his women "large" esp the krauts.

    Whilst the jerry's are lining up, rush in and grab the bridge. Job done.
     
  5. A massive group of chimpanzees armed with electric whisks and toothpicks with support coming from kamikaze birds from above. The monkeys hit first then the birds dive in tw@tting anyone who is not either looking aroung going "What the fcuk?" or diving into the water to escape. Just in case afew do get away in the water there would be killer whales which had been starved for the past month ready and looking for a nice meal. Once bridge is taken, animals are put back into their cages and taunted to build up the rage inside them until they are needed again. Job done.
     
  6. FFS Frilly, read it. Beginning at the top, it's all explained.....
     
  7. Mr Happy

    Mr Happy LE Moderator

    OK, it is a dark night, the moon has gone up Bgdr Smiths Arrse and four squaddies have been landed within 100m of the bridge....

    Random 7.92mm automatic rattles through the night...

    Pte Lucky: crikey, the hun is doing a runner!
    Cpl Jones: Crumbs, they're getting away,!
    Lt Chinless: Good lord, Jerry is doing a runner!
    Sgt Big Chin: Don't worry Sah, I'll get them. BADADADADADADADA "got 'em - eat that Fritz"

    Simply in four frames Britfor wins the bridge and maintanences tereo-types... Excellent. Char wallah, tea!
     
  8. I applaud the ingenuity of the use of puppies & dolphins. What the fcuk have you been drinking? Diamond White? 8O
     
  9. Fcuk me Stained that just might work, who was that Monty chap any way. we need more innovative thinking Generals like yourself, what's next distract Iraqi insurgency with a few kittens and a ball of wool.

    Zippy483
     
  10. take hercules fill with g8 protestors come over bridge at 5000 ft drop protestors on bridge .You can give them parachutes if you like dont really care :lol: . armour roles up germans distracted by shooting protestors or clearing up mess .
     
  11. Easy send in some chav's, tell them there is a new car spoiler and a pile of MR T's jewelry on the bridge.. one of the following will happen:

    1. The sonic weaponry will kill the Germans (Ever seen The Film "Biggles"?).

    2. The Germans will use all their ammo up shooting the chav's up, and then even the american Specail Forces (Useing specail amounts of ammo) could capture the bridge.

    3. The chav scum hotwire the bridge and nick it from under the Fritz's nose

    Or we could arange some weird scary thing to do with "Ilse, Fraulein SS..."
     
  12. Approach stealthily upon the Hun, then, once every man has marked his target, upon a predetermined signal, throw custard pies at them, ensuring that the custard gets in theire eyes!
     
  13. Easy - Send in a Snelly or Bratwurst Van. When they all go for takeaway, take the bridge.