When I was in Tesco today, I saw an old buffer collecting for the RBL, and I was instantly suspicious. Firstly, his beret wasn't shaped properly; secondly, the wispy white hair that poked out from the sides of it was far too long. He was wearing velcro-fastening shoes, and when I gripped him for it, he just looked confused, and asked if I was his grandson. Furthermore, when challenged he was, very conveniently I don't think, 'unable to remember' what his medals had been awarded for. The MM could easily have come from Ebay, and when I demanded an explanation he just kept repeating "Oh, we gave Jerry what for, good old Monty!" To try and put me off the scent, he started asking a giude dog collecting box if it was his grandson. I wasn't having this old walt defiling the memory of our glorious dead, so I quickly put him in a headlock, and marched him to the manager's office. Finding that locked, I contented myself with slapping him around a bit and getting my missus to curl one out on his head. Am I great or what?