Rash on Balls

A man has a rash on his balls

A man goes to his local nurse about a severe rash on his balls. She examines him & says “You’re going to have to stop wanking” he says “Why?” She says “Because I’m trying to examine you!”
Big old Jockingese bird climbs into a dentists chair in Glasgae.

Comfy? Asks the dentist

Govan, replies the bitch.
Bloke takes his bird to see a blue film at the cinema. Halfway through she says Hey the bloke next to me is having a w ank.
How do you know? Asks the bloke.
He's using my hand