Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by Monty417, Feb 17, 2012.

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  1. [SIZE=+1]An Arrser was on trial for having raped an entire family and the father was the first to give evidence against him.

    "First he had my two daughters, then he had my wife, then my mother, the dog, and the cat. Then he put a pair of glasses on his dick and said, "Look around and see if you missed anything!" That's when I thought I'd better get to the phone to call the police or die trying."[/SIZE]
  2. Is it at all possible that you may have missed out a very salient portion of that joke when you cut and pasted it - the punchline for instance?

    Or am I being a thick twat?
  3. You need to ask?
  4. I don't get it.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. sirbhp

    sirbhp LE Book Reviewer

    well you are the sort of bloke who couldn't get a kiss on a battleship egh.
    runs away giggling like a loon
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Well there is three wasted mins of my life i will never get back.

  7. yeah, crap joke. :|
  8. Wow great 1st post!
    A real big hit on your 1st time.
  9. Three minutes to read such huge letters, spent a lot of time behind the Bike S***s
    did you?
  10. Thanks. Thought that you might like it.
    Let me know if you need any tips. :thumright:
  11. Just to annoy you again, here is another!

    Joe is in a position to buy a Harley Davidson, and after much consideration opts for a very nice model. The salesman is very pleased and offers Joe a few words of advice. He tells him to always carry a jar of Vaseline in his pocket and if he knows it is going to rain to smear the Vaseline all over the bodywork of the bike in order to prevent rust. Joe drives his Harley off most pleased.

    A few weeks later, Joe and his girlfriend drive the Harley to her parents house where he is to meet them for the first time.

    The girlfriend tells him that they have a rule in her house, that the first person who speaks after dinner has to wash the dishes.

    They have a lovely meal and afterwards there's nothing but silence from all sitting at the table. This silence goes on for about an hour and Joe decides that he has to do something to make someone break the silence, so he grabs his girlfriend and feels her up, still no one says a word. He then pushes her onto the table and shags the arse off her. No one says a word. He thinks 'Right then, I'll shag the old lady,' pushes her onto the table face first and takes her from behind. Nobody says anything.

    Just at this point, Joe hears a crack of thunder and the rain starting, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket and the father shouts Jesus! no! I'll do the fucking dishes!
    • Like Like x 2
  12. Now that is really funny! :)
  13. And older than you!!!!
  14. "knock knock"
    "who's there?"
    "fuck off you bone cunt."