Rank etiquette for civvy ex-squaddies

Discussion in 'Aviation' started by Fred_Frog_1987, Feb 28, 2006.

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  1. Ex-AAC civvy here who got out as a full-screw in 98 and I'm about to contact the Corps RSM (no not the one taking over soon). Although we knew of each other when I was in, we weren't buddies as such so I can't just call him up and address him by his first name even though I know it, it doesn't seem the right thing to do.

    Anyone know the form in this situation? Would I address him as RSM, or Mr ******, or even Sir?


  2. Call him what you like. If you want something from him I would advise against:

    Me old China,
    Matey Boy.

    Hope this helps.
  3. No that didn't help at all really.
  4. I had to speak to the RSM at Netheravon a few years ago and and adressed him as RSM. You called also call him Mr (whatever his surname is.
  5. Call him RSM.

    It is his rank after all. I wouldn't call him sir as you are not serving. You outrank him now as you pay his wages.

    On the otherhand, how big a favour do you want?
  6. It depends on what you're contacting him about, and wether you are calling him on the phone or writing to him. Is it something formal like a request for a reference, or something more casual like arranging a reunion?
  7. Just call him Mr. etc... your not in the service anymore. Like talking to any perfect stranger really isn't it. If I call someone I haven't spoken to I'd ask if I could speak to Mr. x and then carry on from there. Everyone is different on how they wish to be addressed, but this is as formal as you would go without dropping the informality that you'd use with someone you do know or looking like a kiss ass by using the full title. You could however, on that note, ask to speak to <rank> <name>. Either way I woudn't realy be worried.
  8. I suppose it depends what you want off him, if anybody else is listening or just what feels comfortable, don't know of any etiquette regarding civvies and demi gods or officers. Tosh or mush are definitely out and maybe mate as well, or or you could just let him ring you. You could answer Mister ? and he might call YOU sir. Got called Sir all the time as I was a Mister S, didn't deserve it then but that's life, it's a bummer, I'm sure a man of your calibre will sort something out without making one big fcuk off enemy.
  9. I knew a texan (civvy) who habitually called any man older than him who he didn't know very well Sir or if a lady Ma'am. Obviously with his Texan drawl it sounded "in keeping". I asked him about it one day and I said "Dave - why do you call my dad Sir?" his response was that using the honorific took nothing from the person to whom you applied it and spoke a great deal about your manners and upbringing.

    I took a look at myself in that light and thought - bugger, I've been shown up by a Yank.

    In a similar light my Coy Comd at Sandhurst was talking about saluting when you entered other officer's offices. He said that he saluted when he walked into anyone's office - irrespective of rank - as they would extend him that courtesy if he walked into theirs. Which I thought was bang on.

    So to answer your question I'd say "Hello Mr Smith Sir it's Lost Boss from the AAC you might remember me", he'll tell you to call him John within 30 secs (if that's his name).
  10. I'm hoping to buy some tickets (with the AAC bar wristband thingy) for the Army v Navy Rugby at Twickenham in May. My usual contact is out in the Balkans at the moment, but he advised me to contact the Corps RSM who should be able to help.

    I think I'll probably go with Mr ******.

  11. Good to hear it wasn't work related but something far more important. Mr ******* sounds fine to me.
  12. An interesting one, this.

    I left the army many years ago, as a Warrant Officer. When I was serving, it was understood that I could never be invited into the officers Mess as a guest for a drink (except the usual Christmas inter-mess invitation) or to attend a Dinner, however....now that I am a civilian, it seems that the same rule appies, even though I am of much higher status now than when I was serving.

    On the other hand, civilian colleagues who have never served and in many cases would have been total rejects do receive invitations as there is no rank-bar to them, and they are completely out of their depth in the Mess. Surely, this cannot be correct?

    Advice would be welcome.
  13. That sounds a little strange - what if you served as an enlisted man, but then worked for the Army as a professional? I mean, I know of someone who was an enlisted rank and is now a GP, after training when she left.
  14. Crusader,

    This can't be right, anyone can be invited to any mess irrespctive of rank or previous rank. Whilst every Mess has its own rules I'm sure none would have a "no invites to ex WOs".

    Or is it that YOU are barred?

    Were you VERY bad?


    edited fur pur speling
  15. Crusader, I was told that civilians who are ex whatever are entitled to be invited into the mess appropriate to their rank on leaving the service. I left as a full screw and did attend corporal's mess functions but I also was a guest at the segeant's mess a couple of times. Another civilian who had left as a corporal actually joined the sergeant's mess but he was of the brown nosed variety and he was voted in while the world and it's gerbil were on an exercise.

    It seems it just depends who reads the rules and how they read between them or not. I consider myself far superior to Paul Daniels, I have my own hair and I'm not married to a woofer called Debbie but he was invited to dine at the mess while I was not. I think Groucho Marx summed it up "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."