Randomness Rampant!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cuddles, May 8, 2007.

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  1. Yesterday, I and the shabby remnants of my rugby club dragged ourselves out of Kelly's Bar in antwerp and poured ourselves onto the coach for the trip home. There had been great scenes of drinking, whoring and some rugby football played too. Our coach was comfortable enough and came with a splendid DVD player.

    We had acquired some grumble mags and one of them included a free DVD. Now we watched the first few segments happily enough until suddenly there in the middle of a scene of what is, I am lead to believe, known as a spit-roast your honours, was a clown. A fcuking clown for pity's sake? He did not participate in the shag fest - to be fair she had been rendered watertight at both ends and he might have found intruding difficult. Especially in that clown costume and make-up.

    So I have got to ask, is that not the most random scene in a porn film ever? Why he was there I suppose I'll never know unless the director/producer is a frequenter of Arrse. Although judging by that scene he is more like to be posting or lurking on Big Top or Circus Rumour Service boards...To be quite honest it freaked me out. Did Boffo the clown turn up after a freak mistake at his agent's? Does he do children's parties too FFS?

    Just sat there FFS. With two mates making a human coffee table in front of him. I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine it...

    May I also offer some advice to anyone who fancies touring aged 45 and chucking yourself into everything with gay abandonment...don't do it, it is not big nor clever. As I found to my cost...oooh I think I'll lie down now.
  2. Its hard to comment without seeing the offending blue

    so i can be totally objective please send it to me straight away

    and a box of kleenex
  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Just how gay did it get? Detail please.

    I saw a clip a while back featuring similar antics to those described, except the two active members were dressed in Pterodactyl suits and kept flapping their 'wings' throughout the proceedings.

    And there was a small Pterodactyl who I hope was a dwarf just sitting there spanking the monkey.

    Its out there if anyone can be arrsed to do a Google. I havent the heart.
  4. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Cuddles, I am disappointed in you! A member of this site, indulging in wanton behaviour, imbibing the demon drink and ogling poor and innocent clowns. I hope you are suitably ashamed. And a rugby man too. Have you forgotten mens sana in sana corpore?
    Do penance immediatley. Take your poster of Bliar out of the closet and gaze at it adoringly for one whole hour!

    By the way, can you upload the grot, just so I can be judgemental about it?
  5. Maybe you'd not be feeling so rough if you'd left Michael Barrymore at home!
  6. As I am sat here convalescing after the extreme fat-birding and alcohol imbibation a thought crosses my mind. So I google "clown porn". Try it; 326000 hits. I'm now wondering whether we have stumbled on an underground fetish scene which we had previously not considered...
  7. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Clown porn is wrong, just plain wrong.

    As an aside, I always wondered why the old Ribu films had random midgets wandering about!
  8. I hope this works....


    The more clowns, the better the grot.
  9. My missus was watching a US programme the other night called Orange County od some such and there was a reference to Clown Porn on that.

    Apparently some divorced bird had started seeing a bloke her daughter didnt like so the daughter had "hidden" clown porn in his kit in a place where the woman would find it.

    Up until that I was blissfully unaware of this most pointless of perversions.
  10. I friend once told me that there is an intersting website about Stop Clown Porn. ObviouslY I haven't looked at it my self but....
  11. Apparently there is a (US, obviously) group who do this sort of thing as "performance art".

    Imagine going about your daily business when suddenly the floppy-shoes-and-baggy-pants crowd turn up and start an orgy in the middle of the room!
  12. Thats no clown, it's famous botanist David Bellamy checking her bush for crawly things using the old wheel barrow technique
  13. Why do clowns always have sad faces. Are their cum faces really sad???
  14. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Mine isn't, and my missus reckons I'm a clown at sex.
  15. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I'm feeling strangely aroused by that girl with the pigtails getting the good news from a bloke with a red nose. Where are you when I need you santa?