ralph

Discussion in 'Sick Jokes' started by phil245, Feb 9, 2011.

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  1. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

    He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph…

    Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

    St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

    Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

    'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

    'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

    ' Never,' said Ralph. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

    Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

    Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

    As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
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    'Ralph! Wake up! You shit in the bed, you dirty bastard'