Raising Money For the RN's New Fast Shiny Things

#1
Given that the RN won't have any money to buy fast shiny things to put on the HMS Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier's deck, I was thinking up ways that they could make some money to buy some.

I came up with the cunning plan that they could offer caravan cruises - make the HMS QE the world's first floating caravan park.

Caravanners who wanted to go on a cruise could park up on the deck and the RN could take them for a nice cruise around the Med or Baltic, etc. A guaranteed money-spinner

Any other ideas?
 
#2
Given that the RN won't have any money to buy fast shiny things to put on the HMS Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier's deck, I was thinking up ways that they could make some money to buy some.

I came up with the cunning plan that they could offer caravan cruises - make the HMS QE the world's first floating caravan park.

Caravanners who wanted to go on a cruise could park up on the deck and the RN could take them for a nice cruise around the Med or Baltic, etc. A guaranteed money-spinner

Any other ideas?
Like the cut of your jib, I'd go for that. So long as I could park mine in the hangar, fuck the view, I'd be worried about drunken matelots float testing the caravans at night.

I remember when we bought our first caravan, (cheap off ebay in case we didn't like it) I took it to a Falklands Reunion held on a campsite outside Blackpool. I was sat there at night pissing down with rain the skylight in the toilet leaked. I rang her indoors, who wasn't joining me for a couple of days, complaining that I was sat here in a leaky metal box, no different to when I was in the mob, bobbin about on the green stuff.

Fucking good reunion though
 
#3
Could turn both carriers into floating prisons and anchor them somewhere up in Scapa Flwe Sound well away fron any centres of civilization...
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#4
Given that the RN won't have any money to buy fast shiny things to put on the HMS Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier's deck, I was thinking up ways that they could make some money to buy some.

I came up with the cunning plan that they could offer caravan cruises - make the HMS QE the world's first floating caravan park.

Caravanners who wanted to go on a cruise could park up on the deck and the RN could take them for a nice cruise around the Med or Baltic, etc. A guaranteed money-spinner

Any other ideas?

Won't it be hard getting the caravans on the deck and there would be old people dropping overboard all the time, great plan.
 
#5
Tell the RAF to purchase the fast shiny things instead?

Scrap the RAF in order to raise capital to buy Navy fast shiny things?
 

seaweed

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
We tried this prison lark with HMS Maidstone. Unfortunately we were not allowed to weld the scuttles shut so the ungrateful Fenian savages climbed out and swam away.

Personally I think a carrier makes a superb 'events' venue - lift stopped a couple of feet up to make a bandstand with Booties playing selections from G & Sullivan, awning over the top of the hole to keep the rain off, and acres of drinking space for weddings, bar mitzvahs, old boys' reunions, political party confeneces, anything. Visits to the Golden Rivet arranged.
 
#8
Stand by for a 6-month debate on the merits of carrier-based vs. land-based caravan parks, and which is better for avoiding bad weather during the summer holidays...
 
#9
Drag Lusty up the Thames and park next to Belfast.

Hey presto, instant MP, Lords and others accomodation. Helipad too, with some of it being turned in to a golf course/park and the tower being turned in to a restaurant. Hanger a spacious gym, squash court and evening entertainments area.

Charge at reasonable rates and provide security and maybe a P2000 for trips up and down teh Thames... save on commuting too.
 
#12
Could turn both carriers into floating prisons and anchor them somewhere up in Scapa Flwe Sound well away fron any centres of civilization...
Seems a bit of a shame to take brand-new ships all that way just to sink them with all hands, but omelettes and eggs...
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#13
Drag Lusty up the Thames and park next to Belfast.

Hey presto, instant MP, Lords and others accomodation. Helipad too, with some of it being turned in to a golf course/park and the tower being turned in to a restaurant. Hanger a spacious gym, squash court and evening entertainments area.

Charge at reasonable rates and provide security and maybe a P2000 for trips up and down teh Thames... save on commuting too.
That plan is flawed the MP's and Lords don't visit too often so it'd be empty.
 
#14
There are a number of options:-

a) Build a third carrier and flog it to the Chinese. In a couple of years they'll realise that the ex-Soviet rust bucket they already bought is going nowhere fast.

b) Build a fourth carrier and flog it to the French. In a couple of years, their entire Navy will be bald and sterile after serving on Charles de Gaulle, the world's most mobile radiation hazard.

c) Stop paying welfare benefits for 7 days. The amount saved will pay for a carrier and an air group.

d) Get in on the much anticipated remake of Top Gun that's supposed to be in the works. (Admiral Maverick is out of the closet and living with Ice Man). I'm told the US DoD got $25,000 out of Tony Scott just to have the USS Enterprise do a 180 course change so aircraft on deck could be filmed with the sun setting behind them.
 
#16
Could be great fun catapulting Caravan owning defaulters over the side say for emptying their shit bucket over the weather side, and other such crimes against humanity, like OWNING a fuckin road hogging mess tin.
 
#18
pimping sailors out to unscrupulous types might have some milage in it. christ knows theres enough aspiring Jarrods in this world

by the way put me down for 100 quid on a little blonde matelot that was on Ocean circa june 2007 when it parked up next to hooters in Virginia. she was quite tidy if my alcahol fuelled memory serves
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#19
Could be great fun catapulting Caravan owning defaulters over the side say for emptying their shit bucket over the weather side, and other such crimes against humanity, like OWNING a fuckin road hogging mess tin.
Monty says 40mph is fast enough for anyone, can he be first?
 
#20
Fair enough I'll make do with 20 minutes. This plan won't work.
Back to Plan B of having them hang around Victoria Barracks' main gate on the night of an Offrs' Mess piss up then...

by the way put me down for 100 quid on a little blonde matelot that was on Ocean circa june 2007 when it parked up next to hooters in Virginia. she was quite tidy if my alcahol fuelled memory serves
I'd stump a good few hundred for the navy bird who ran the stationery store at the airport on Telic 4. I'd sell a kidney for a threes up with her and the bird who (from what I observed) was brought along to make brews and run the tuck shop for Fleet on Joint Venture 06.
 

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