Raiking out your nose and eating it

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Porridge_gun, Mar 9, 2010.

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  1. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    Twice in my life now I've been affected by this.

    The first, as a smitten schoolboy, the girl I adored, the girl I joined a swimming club and attended at 6am five days a week just to see her in a swimsuit and be near her. One morning in the queue to go in, I watched her brain mining, her finger sunk to the first knuckle trying to dislodge a branflake.....

    'Fair enough' I thought, semi on subsiding......... then the beautiful girl I think I loved looked at her trophy and the gopping trollop scoffed it.

    I was distraught, traumatised and out of lust / love in an instant...... Even thinking about it now I feel conned that I'd had feelings for a bogey eating damsel who snacked on nostril debris.

    Then.....

    Yesterday, stood in the bank, my head was turned by a very very pretty lady, sat in the back at the bank finishing her lunch. I couldn't help but stare, elated she was here in my local branch and my mind was racing at ways to pest her.

    I've never been so chuffed at the bloke who was emptying his penny jar and the woman who was trying to argue that Direct Debits were the banks fault and that she had no money....... It meant I could stare at my new fave chick for longer.

    To say she was stunning is an absolute understatement.

    She finished her lunch, then went to the mirror (just out of sight) combed her hair, touched up her lipstick and came back out the counter......... I even let a grubby person go in front of me, to increase my chances of landed at her window.

    Just then I saw her, unashamedly pick her hooter....... shocked, but thought I'd use it as a way to embarrass her when I got to the counter to begin my pesting offensive.

    Then she did it....... the new love of my life ate the fcuking bogey from the pad of her index finger.

    How I contained my revulsion at this dirty slag is beyond me, her natural beauty vanished, tarnished and gone forever with my mind firmly etched with the blue print of her eating snot.

    I did get to embarrass her, I paid in, without word, not even able to look at her...... she was polite and when I turned smartly to my right to march out I simply asked her if she 'sucked handkercheifs too'

    Dirty fcuking cow.

    Anyone else seen pretty girls eating bogeys?
     
  2. I understand the outrage. These scutters should pick their noses and eat it at the appropriate time - stopped at a traffic light.
     
  3. Bet you wouldn't mind if it was yours and you were 'feeding' her!

    Hypocrite! :p
     
  4. I hope you duly showed your disgust by having a good scratch in your shreddies and sniffing your fingers in a disdainful manner.
     
  5. I work with a girl who regularly carries out nasal husbandry - and always surreptitiously eats it in a casual manner! Obviously a lifelong and well practised habit. At least I have the decency to knock one out in private (and don't eat the resulting discharge!)
     
  6. You don't?
     
  7. Fcukin prude :roll: We've all got a fascination for snoz snacks. I recall clearing a coco pop from my nostril that came with a six inch thread and currant sized dewdrop at the end. It was amazing how much more easily I was able to breathe and I was astonished at this unique example of body art. I showed it to the lads - there were upturned tables and chairs everywhere as they sought escape :twisted: I did toy with the idea of eating it, but one or two were retching by that point and I hate the smell of spew so I decided against it. (No, I didn't put it in my mate's beer or wipe it on his jacket - I put it on exhibition in the ashtray.)
     
  8. Eating bogeys is for winners but it’s definitely not for everyone. You either have it or you don’t. The basic mistake made by most (males and females) is their eagerness to swallow the lot regardless. Hastily emptying their noses instead of being more picky concerning their salty treasure.

    Bogeys come in various textures and not all of them are worth stuffing in your mouth. Some are too slimy and tend to stick to the back of your teeth. Unless you manage to put them straight on your tongue and let them slide down your throat you’ll be stuck scraping the leftovers off. Others are too dried out and resemble chewing sand. Thus losing out on most of the experience. The best are the ones you can roll for minutes between your index finger and thumb without them getting sticky. The ones you can add more and more schnot to for a pretty sizable lump of the nasal banquet.

    Best environment to produce and harvest such quality mucus are confined air conditioned spaces such as airplanes, the bus and cars. It’s a ritual which unfortunately in our societies is vastly underrated.

    And forget about the index finger. That’s for amateurs. Always use your pink finger when digging in. It’s the dessert cutlery for nose picking.
     
  9. Twat, I nearly pissed meself laughing, Mrs ex thinks I am f..king mad as well, she simply cannot understand our British Humour :clap: :clap:
     
  10. Real men eat their ear wax! Snots are for women and teenagers.
     
  11. It is a revolting habit and yes I have seen many do it....

    But the other day I came across a new one....a work colleague stuck her finger in her ear for ages and then prised out and showed me a piece of solid ball-like ear wax, it was massive. She said "I could feel that for weeks just haven't been able to get it out". I couldn't say much, was trying to keep my lunch down, imagine my surprise when in front of me she popped it into her mouth and chewed....I fast-tracked back to my office.

    Now having a good raik of your nose and ears I can handle....tissue at the ready....but eating it? Maybe these people also drink their own urine?

    Edit: Just read your post Shimna.
     
  12. What ever happened to the pick it ,lick it ,roll it ,flick it system that many of us learned in the cradle?
     
  13. I always used to wait until we had all taken our seats in the cookhouse, to start digging in. At this point I would extract a long glistening thread of translucent nose lubricant, generally a wobbling jelly like greenish lump of nasal caviar would be attached. I would then toss my head back and lower this olfactory culinary delight onto my waiting tongue (much like eating oysters), and with much smacking of lips, proceed to consume. If, on the off chance that the pickings where slim, I would plug off one nare, and proceed to empty the contents of my nasal passage into my hand with a couple of well timed blows. I would then, much to the merriment and delight of my dining partners, proceed to noisily lick the detrious from my hand.
     
  14. I also enjoy dining on those huge chunks of lung butter one can cough up just after getting over a chest cold!
     
  15. Fcuking goping habit! I feel sick just reading these.

    My mother, of all people, eats the sh1t from her nose. I can remember one occasion at the tender age of 14, my mates were round for a spot of dinner and mum was in the kitchen prepping said meal. Out of the corner of my eye I see mate 1 nudge mate 2 and nod towards the kitchen, I look in to the kitchen and mum's up to her knuckles digging out a nasal pudding. It had a string of jelly on it about 6 inches long and she proceeds to feed the lot into her face. My mates suddenly had to be somewhere else and I never lived it down till I left school. I promptly joined up to be rid of the gopping old boot.