RAF Jokes or P*ss Takes

#1
Currently working with the RAF and getting threaders with abuse for being a "pongo". Grateful for some jokes / pics that can be turned poster size and left in very obvious places!!
 
#2
just tell them that they are a bunch of workshy, gay cvnts who are as much use to the defence community as t1ts on a fish. They also enjoy it when you tell them that the 100 year experiment comes to an end on 31 Mar 2018.

I pity you mon brave. I hope you're filling a few of them in for me!
 

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#5
There was an ex RN cartoonist called Jim Swift who did two books of Navy cartoons called 'Laugh with the Navy' and 'Laugh with the Navy Too'

He also published a book called 'Laugh with the RAF' which had a colourful cover and the slogan 'packed with all the latest jokes in the RAF!' The pages of this book were blank.

Maybe get a few copies and distribute them around the place.
 
#6
I suggest you fake a DIN which describes the formation of the Defence Flying Services on 1 April 2009. In it advise that all RAF personnel will be remustered into the Navy, unless they elect to be posted to the AAC by 16th March. Put in some stuff about drill courses for those electing for AAC and note that officer-pilots RAF will be re-mustered as Cpl Pilots -AAC "because the Army does not commission its drivers" etc. finally add that the wearing of flying clothing in the the new DFS/AAc will be restricted to aircrew, operationally serving and during flying activities only...

Stand well back...
 
#8
Sounds to me like you're only getting what you deserve... :p
 
#9
Funniest thing I heard was the reply from a Royal Naval Senior Rate (NCO) to a Crab after being told the RAF had traditions.

The Royal Navy has traditions, the RAF were only formed a hundred years ago, they don't have traditions they have Habits.
 
#10
And their uniform looks like something you find advertised on the back of Peoples Friend magazine that me Nan reads...
 

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#11
Airborne Crew - are you able to pull your bottom lip over your head and swallow? So at some point you will have been my taxi?
 
#12
If non-aircrew, tell them you know aircrew call them blunties and constantly refer to them as such. If aircrew, tell them they only joined for membership of a flying club and ask them when was the last time they passed a bft.
 

Auld-Yin

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#13
Great Poster Baz. Pity you have such a down on MPGS though :D
 
#14
Father_Famine said:
The Royal Navy has traditions, the RAF were only formed a hundred years ago, they don't have traditions they have Habits.
More commonly, "it's not a tradition, it's just a bad habit".
 
#15
Auld-Yin said:
Great Poster Baz. Pity you have such a down on MPGS though :D

It was either that or..."The Naafi won't fcukin Guard itself."
 
#16
How do aircrew commit suicide? They jump off their ego onto their IQ.

What do aircrew use as contraception? Their personalities.

What do non-aircrew use as contraception? Condoms, because they don't have personalities.
 
#18
Idrach said:
Father_Famine said:
The Royal Navy has traditions, the RAF were only formed a hundred years ago, they don't have traditions they have Habits.
More commonly, "it's not a tradition, it's just a bad habit".
No, no, its "the Army and the Navy have traditions but as the RAF were only formed less than a hundred years ago they just have habits...and some of them are pretty beastly".

Oh and "the RAF idea of mess silver is the same as the average take-away Chinese..."
 
#19
 
#20
Cuddles said:
Idrach said:
Father_Famine said:
The Royal Navy has traditions, the RAF were only formed a hundred years ago, they don't have traditions they have Habits.
More commonly, "it's not a tradition, it's just a bad habit".
No, no, its "the Army and the Navy have traditions but as the RAF were only formed less than a hundred years ago they just have habits...and some of them are pretty beastly".

Oh and "the RAF idea of mess silver is the same as the average take-away Chinese..."
Thought the original was, "the RN has traditions, the Army has customs & the RAF has dirty habits."
 

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