R. Lee Ermey

Don't know if this has been on before...

Transcript from a United States Marine Corp Press Conference

For the few of you who don't know of him, R. Lee Ermey is the host of The History Channel's 'Mail Call' and he played the Drill Instructor in the movie 'Full Metal Jacket. He is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain speaker, as you will soon read. So, for your entertainment, here is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey at his first press conference. The main topic of discussion is the Marine in Iraq who shot an Iraqi insurgent to death.

We pick up as the reporter asks about how this potential war crime will affect the USA's image n the world:

Ermey: 'What kind of a Pansy-assed question is that?'

Reporter 1: 'Well I think....'

Ermey: 'Think, Fancy boy?! Get this through that septic tank on top of your shoulders, moron: I don't give a damn what you think, do you understand me? That Marine shot an enemy combatant shithead; so get your head out your ass and deal with it before I make you my personal pin cushion!!
'Next question: You in the blue suit'

Reporter 2: 'Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations is important?

Ermey: 'Oh sure! You don't know the times I have cried myself to sleep worrying about what some goddamned French pansy thinks! Oh the days I have had to weep because some shit eating terrorist f**k might be mad at us, because we went into whatever god forsaken hole in the shit that he lives in and killed him. What the hell kind of dumbass question is that you Peter-puffing Jackass?? We are the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, and when you attack us, we are going to come to your house and blow your stinking camel-licking carcass into pieces so small we will be able to bury your sorry ass in a thimble!! Yeah, I know what you are thinking. You are probably afraid, thinking that I have such an 'extreme' attitude and that I need to be more sensitive to other people's feelings. Well let me tell you something you Pole-smoking Pansy! I don't give two shits what you or anybody else thinks! This is a damn war, and if you can't handle that, then you should go home and suck on Mamma's Tit!! Do you hear me you Runt?? Now get the hell out of my press room before I go crazy and beat the living shit out of you!!
Next question: you with the ugly assed tie. Look at that thing it's hideous'

Reporter 3: 'Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by...'

Ermey: 'Freedom? What in the blue hell do you know about freedom? I have sweated my ass off in jungles, whilst being shot at for this nation!! What in the hell have you done you Little Shit-sucking Weasel? When was the last time you put your ass on the line for anything? And yet you have the unmitigated temerity to show up here and Monday-morning Quarterback the actions of a brave Marine, who was defending himself and his unit from an attack by some murderous Al-Qaeda sympathizer!! You wanna know what I am concerned about, numb nuts? I am concerned about a bunch of Grabbastic Organized Morons with cameras and microphones doing their best to portray our brave men and women as war criminals! I am concerned about Chicken-shit Pansies that want us to negotiate with Terrorists and whine about their Piss-ant 'freedoms'!!'

Reporter 3: 'I...'

Ermey: 'Did you have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning numb nuts? I don't want to hear another word out of that Commie Cry-hole in that Shit-pile you call a head!! And that goes triple for the rest of you Pansy-assed Morons!! Now get the hell out of my press room before I shove my boot so far up your ass that you choke to death on my shoelaces!!'


Book Reviewer
Not to get all 'Sven' on you but where's this from?. Only things I can find are a couple of blog comments.


Book Reviewer
Cheers Trev. Thought that might be the case.
on a dallas radio show when asked about michael moore's protest about gulf war 2 kicking off ... he said he like to punch Moore in his fat face so hard that moore's entire family would hurt.
Mail Call is slightly more irritating than wiping your arrse with sandpaper and has no other purpose than giving Walts hard-ons. I wish to God the man had a mute switch. All that shouting and bawling had its place in the film but now he's a fcuking cartoon character.
Pinch of salt here methinks.......but f*ck it hes half right.
Not too quick off the starting line, are we, Mr McCabe and Dog eating ot chips?

At the risk of incurring a Wah, it didn't actually happen. Look at a couple of posts above you.
It would be funny in a film but in real life it's clearly arrse.

Bit like the one about the General telling the female reporter that she was equipped to be a prostitute.
The Gunny says!:

No, it didn't happen, but at times it would be nice to be able to address the media in this fashion! :wink:
Should have got him meeting Twigg on battle for trafalgar square. Just what is needed.

Get him a UK passport and put in the ministry of defence.

I've always enjoyed R. Lee Ermey. Mail Call, while to be honest I've mostly out grown it, still provides amusement and occasional knowledge from time-to-time. His film performances are always memorable, and he actively does fundraising for Military families and wounded veterans.

Also, that transcript was hillarious.



Book Reviewer

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