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Quotes from W. M. M'Gimmegrant (The Bard of Africa, or maybe Somalia or Sudan or Pakistan)

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
All the world’s a dinghy, and all the men and women merely gimmegrants. They do not have their passports and their papers; And one trafficker in his time gets many Euros.
(As You Like it in UK. Act 2, Scene 7)

An inflatable, an inflatable, my flip-flops for an inflatable.
(Richard de Turd. Act 5, Scene 4)

To paddle or not to paddle, that is the question, or whether to suffer the extra cost of an outboard motor.
(Hamlet FCO UK. Act 3 Scene 1)

Alas poor Abdulfatah Hamdallah, I knew him Horatio, a Sudanese of infinite silliness, I mean, a dinghy without an outboard........
(Hamlet FCO UK. Act 5 Scene 1)

Your turn.
 
The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth like the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath.
It is twice blessed: it blesseth him who gives and him that takes.

(Merchant of Venice)
 
Once more onto the beach dear friends, once more onto the beach.
Where hopefully we will find a boat, a motor and in a few hours England.

(Sumraghead of Sangatte)
 

Bubbles_Barker

LE
Book Reviewer
Imagine that you see the wretched strangers, their babies at their backs, with their poor luggage,
Plodding to th’ ports and coasts for transportation,
And that you sit as kings in your desires,
Authority quite silenced by your brawl.

(The Book of Sir Thomas More)
 

Bubbles_Barker

LE
Book Reviewer
Call me Achmed, some years ago-never mind how long precisely-having little or no prospect money or passport, and nothing particular to interest me in Syria, I thought I would con my way into Europe, via other parts of the world, its a way I have of pissing everyone off, and grabbing freebees.

Loosely based on the opening lines from" Moby Dick"
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
Call me Achmed, some years ago-never mind how long precisely-having little or no prospect money or passport, and nothing particular to interest me in Syria, I thought I would con my way into Europe, via other parts of the world, its a way I have of pissing everyone off, and grabbing freebees.

Loosely based on the opening lines from" Moby Dick"
Why the dumb ? Have you perchance made an enemy ?

But soft, what vessel from yonder Dover breaks? It is the Border Force cutter and none but fools aboard it. cast the dinghy off! it is my lady, O, it is my love.
(Ahmed & Shanina. Act 2 Scene 2)
 
For the want of a nail a oar was lost, for the want of an oar a boat was lost, for the want of a boat some Albanian pickpockets stayed in France, for that alone, the British navy, rescue services, immigration authority's, social services, housing departments, and the great put upon British taxpayer sat " Thank fock for that"

Loosely adapted for a quote, Attributed to Mary R Kowal.
 

syrup

LE
"Use that sharp spade to paddle, this things reinforced rubber, what can go wrong".

The greatest Bard of all, his eminence the Emperor Mong
Calais 2020
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer

NSP

LE
"I am Osman Dias, people smuggler of people smugglers. Look ye upon my works and despair."


In the Channel with just oars the one-engined dinghy is king.
 
They sink them here
They sink them there
They sink those immigrants everywhere
 
It was the best of times, (free money, and a house,) it was the worst of times, ( its in Croydon) ,it was the age of foolishness, (admitting I could speak English), it was the epoch of belief, ( we knew the UK was a soft touch)
It was the epoch of incredibility ( How F-ing easy was that!) It was the season of light ( the social pay the electric bills) it was the season of darkness ( some other immigrant bastard has nicked out 50in plasma TV) It was the spring of hope, ( hope to get the wife and 7 kids over next month) It was the winter of despair, ( Croydon's a shite hole) we had everything before us ( all to be paid for by the great British taxpayer,.... good ear..innit!) ).............

Opening lines from Dickens "Tale of two cities.
 
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Was this the Calais that launched a thousand dinghy's
To reach the great white Cliffs of Dover
Sweet Brittania, make me really well off with a free house, dole, Health Service and Lawyers
Our lips suck forth its cash, white goods and hand-outs

Based loosely on Dr Faustus by Christopher Marlowe

Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships,
And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?
Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss.
Her lips suck forth my soul: see where it flies!


As an a side Helen from Croy was known as the face that sunk a thousand ships.
 
Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin

We come from the land of the dust and sand
From the midday sun, where the hot springs flow
The hammer of the gods
W'ell drive our boats to new lands
To claim the dole, and moan and cry
Mohammed, I am coming!
On we sweep with plastic oar
Our only goal will be the western shore

Ah inshallah Ah inshallah

 

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