Quotes for use in the field

Plot and Radar Instructor to Baby Officer under training about a fix on the chart,

I could agree with you but then we would both be wrong
Similar
Scene = Unwell S/M PO of the watch applying a fix at chart table during a particularly unpleasant surface passage.

CO arrives - Where are we PO?

POOW indicates Position - Just here, sir, halfway between the peas & carrots,
 
You're about as much use as tits on a fish.

Made me giggle. It was directed at the platoon mong by second mongiest bloke in the platoon, which gave it a certain sense of comedy
 

Niamac

GCM
CR. "I would not breed from this Officer"
 

Niamac

GCM
Everybody has the right to be stupid but some people abuse the privilege.
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
IF MI dogg was as ugly as yew i'd shave his arrse and make him walk backwards !!
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
youve got the sort of a face that couldnt even get a kiss on a battleship.
 
We have a new officer on our shift. Despite being the third generation of police officers in her family and having been to uni she seems a little “sheltered”. (She’s reasonably fit but operational security precludes photos). Within the confines of the Report Room the humour is dark, a tad politically incorrect and even tends towards “gallows”. She has been with us a week and last night she said she is wondering what choice phrase I’m going to use next. Last she added Mongtard to her lexicon as well as Muffin Felc.hing Shit Gibbon. Previously she learned Hoofwanking Spangletwat and the usual phrases such as “As much use as tits on a nun“ “More time off than John Wayne’s safety catch” “A face like a donkey licking pi$$ off a thistle” etc. She’s either going to turn into a decent copper or report me to Professional Standards!
 
We have a new officer on our shift. Despite being the third generation of police officers in her family and having been to uni she seems a little “sheltered”. (She’s reasonably fit but operational security precludes photos). Within the confines of the Report Room the humour is dark, a tad politically incorrect and even tends towards “gallows”. She has been with us a week and last night she said she is wondering what choice phrase I’m going to use next. Last she added Mongtard to her lexicon as well as Muffin Felc.hing Shit Gibbon. Previously she learned Hoofwanking Spangletwat and the usual phrases such as “As much use as tits on a nun“ “More time off than John Wayne’s safety catch” “A face like a donkey licking pi$$ off a thistle” etc. She’s either going to turn into a decent copper or report me to Professional Standards!
Standby for the moment she doesn't get that posting/promotion/cushy gig.

What was once a hoot will become evidence at her/your tribunal.
 
We have a new officer on our shift. Despite being the third generation of police officers in her family and having been to uni she seems a little “sheltered”. (She’s reasonably fit but operational security precludes photos). Within the confines of the Report Room the humour is dark, a tad politically incorrect and even tends towards “gallows”. She has been with us a week and last night she said she is wondering what choice phrase I’m going to use next. Last she added Mongtard to her lexicon as well as Muffin Felc.hing Shit Gibbon. Previously she learned Hoofwanking Spangletwat and the usual phrases such as “As much use as tits on a nun“ “More time off than John Wayne’s safety catch” “A face like a donkey licking pi$$ off a thistle” etc. She’s either going to turn into a decent copper or report me to Professional Standards!
more time of than John Wayne’s safety catch......

nicking that......
 
Top