Quim-attracting professions...

#1
I'm currently looking to have a change in career and came across a response to a comment I made on another thread, where someone brought up an interesting list of jobs where the female: male ratio is more than favourable.

Given that some 'experts' (and yes, I am aware how spurious that comment is) hypothesise that any success a male strives for is directly linked to becoming more attractive to females; which job is for me?

It would also seem that those of you who bothered your arses to do 'course: arduous' are in no better position than the AGC clerk. Women either like soldiers or they don't; and if they do - they're not fussed what colour hat you wear. If, on the rare occasion they DO care; said clerk has a store of stories/anecdotes/nick names/half-truths in his armoury to unload on her if she gets bullied by her mates who are getting reamed by a bunch of airborne warriors.

Bouncer seems like an obvious option; but I'd find it difficult to have any self-respect. Surely a professional dancer would reap a decent return? There can't be an abundance of straight (and handsome in my case) men prancing about the stage?

Given that my life is a list of failed attempts to hump women far out of my league, strung together with bouts of prolific masturbation, I appeal to the wisdom of arrse for my next career move.
 
#2
Sales assistant in a poncey shop. You'll meet more women than you would on 'course:arduous' anyway
 
#3
Pimp. Even if you don't take on any employees, you've still got the interviews to look forward to.
 
S

Screw_The_Nut

Guest
#4
I don't know... I reckon "them" can't move for fanny, compared to the RLC....

Anyway... Mercenary! Sounds interesting enough to pull half of Blackpool!
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
Cabin crew. Considering the bulk of the male cabin crew seem to be as gay as they come, that leaves a pretty favourable heterosexual male/trolley dolly ratio.

Add in the overnight stays and you're well away...

Wordsmith
 
#6
Given that my life is a list of failed attempts to hump women far out of my league, strung together with bouts of prolific masturbation, I appeal to the wisdom of arrse for my next career move.

Flagrant plagiarism from my own biography.
 
B

Boozy

Guest
#7
Bouncer seems like an obvious option;
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. No. One of the least attractive professions. Ordinary security men can be ok though (the ones at my work are young and hot :) ), but even if the bouncer is hot, they tend to be a mega dickhead personality wise - my first proper bf was a bouncer**, twat used to gloat about how he barred guys for just wearing a stripey jumper that he didn't like.

Think Fireman, Personal Trainer, (Young) tradesmen, Lawyers, Police, Royal Marines etc these types seem to have a high ratio of attractive men for the ladies to drool over.

Although it doesn't matter how attractive your profession or your uniform is to the ladies ... if the mug wearing it looks like a bag of smashed crabs you've no chance anyway!


**In my defence I was young and dumb an didn't know any better, and quickly learned my lesson, the breakup was bitter and I smiled lots a few months later when 3 lads all wearing stripey jumpers smashed his jaw in and he was eating from a straw for a month *evil laugh*
 
C

count_duckula

Guest
#8
Health professions. Medicine, nursing and physio are female-dominated. After all the dead bodies etc they're all mad on the piss and go like the clappers as a relief.
 
#9
It would also seem that those of you who bothered your arses to do 'course: arduous' are in no better position than the AGC clerk. Women either like soldiers or they don't; and if they do - they're not fussed what colour hat you wear. If, on the rare occasion they DO care; said clerk has a store of stories/anecdotes/nick names/half-truths in his armoury to unload on her if she gets bullied by her mates who are getting reamed by a bunch of airborne warriors.
You are SO wrong :D
 
C

count_duckula

Guest
#11
It would also seem that those of you who bothered your arses to do 'course: arduous' are in no better position than the AGC clerk. Women either like soldiers or they don't; and if they do - they're not fussed what colour hat you wear. If, on the rare occasion they DO care; said clerk has a store of stories/anecdotes/nick names/half-truths in his armoury to unload on her if she gets bullied by her mates who are getting reamed by a bunch of airborne warriors.
How many wealthy, steely-jawed Captain Heroes do you know in the AGC? You must have some very special clerks at your unit, cos all the ones I know are wimps.
 
#12
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. No. One of the least attractive professions. Ordinary security men can be ok though (the ones at my work are young and hot :) ), but even if the bouncer is hot, they tend to be a mega dickhead personality wise - my first proper bf was a bouncer**, twat used to gloat about how he barred guys for just wearing a stripey jumper that he didn't like.

Think Fireman, Personal Trainer, (Young) tradesmen, Lawyers, Police, Royal Marines etc these types seem to have a high ratio of attractive men for the ladies to drool over.

Although it doesn't matter how attractive your profession or your uniform is to the ladies ... if the mug wearing it looks like a bag of smashed crabs you've no chance anyway!
Bullshit. I know more than one fuck ugly bloke who gets laid via ridiculous confidence levels, reputation, job title or a combination of said items.
 
#16
The only thing you need to be a successful fanny magnet is personality. Looks, age, qualifications etc are all irrelevant as long as you have a wallet full of personality.
 
#17
Or go EOD and let it be known that you have no other beneficiaries...
 
C

count_duckula

Guest
#18
The only thing you need to be a successful fanny magnet is personality. Looks, age, qualifications etc are all irrelevant as long as you have a wallet full of personality.
What if, like me, you have a wallet thick with uncut British cock, the blueish veins towards my dusky purple and engorged bellend gently throbbing? The whole massive cock thing is a massive con, it's only useful if you've a reputation for it otherwise how are you to impress her? Apart from dressing like Kris Akabusi on a night out there aren't many ways of displaying the implement you're going to wedge her open with, unless you fancy being arrested instead! What a waste. Anyone need a 9" penis as described above, one fairly careless owner?
 
#19
Fireman.

Not sure about the ratio of men:women, but I just remember about this time last year sat in my local a load of Firemen came in flogging calendars. Two or three minutes later the smell of quim was in the air - lovely. All the birds were doe-eyed, all the blokes (out of ear shot of course) were saying "Huh, fucking wankers"/"Who the fuck do they think they are?" etc. etc.

If you want quim - be a Fireman.
 
#20
It pays to advertise, I suppose.

Although I don't know about advertising it on ARRSE. You might get a PM from Jarrod, of course, but that might not be what you want.

If you don't mind me saying so, you seem to be "incompetent in charge of a cock" (no offence).

Shell out some shekels and take a trip to BKK or Pattaya and hire a bit o frippit for a few hours. Have several, one after the other. This will give your ego the boost that it obviously needs.

But do remember that whilst you are extolling the properties to her of your medium sized varicose vein filled rod, she will have seen it all before and what she wont tell is is that her last customer was an American basket ball player with a 14 inch dick. She will however offer to ruv you rongtime if the plice is lite (if she is Chinese, that is) .

Cue boring cunts sniggering about "keye ties" (Kathoey) and who are fixated by the thought of "accidentally being impregnated anally" by a bloke with tits. One presumes they usually have to do it themselves with a Perrier bottle.
 
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