Questions with no answers

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Storeman Norman, Oct 10, 2006.

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  1. If you're in a vehicle going at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

    How does the bloke who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?

    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

    Has a fish got a watertight head?

    If it is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

    If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

    What colour is a mirror?

    If a man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
     
  2. why cant you dig half a hole?
     
  3. If winners never quit and quitters never win.

    Where does that leave quit while you are winning?
     
  4. If you're in a vehicle going at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

    The photons from the lights travel at the same speed as you, so they "relatively speaking" don't do anything. However to an external observer, the headlights would seem broghter (but no beam).

    How does the bloke who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?

    As he's got a fecking great plough on the front of his vehicle it just pushes the snow to the sides.

    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Don't ask a hypothetical question if you don't want a hypothetical answer.

    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
    But it is. Tw@t.

    Has a fish got a watertight head? Yes, the water goes in through its mouth and out through its gills. It dosn't breathe through its head.

    If it is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

    It is closed one day every four years. (Leap year)

    If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

    You have succeeded in failing.

    What colour is a mirror?
    Whatever is "looking" at it.

    If a man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

    It depends on the time of year. Blossom has both male and female components.
     
  5. Oh dear. There's always one. Pedantry and pseudo-intellectual shite....

     
  6. Why is the speed of light considered the fastest thing possible if darkness is always there before light?
     
  7. It’s a simple matter of matter and mathematics, i.e. you never here them say "sector 2, dark speed" on star wars or star treck do you, and there from the future so it must be true.
     
  8. No, to the casual observer you wouldn't be able to see the car or it's headlights until after it had already knocked you down and seriously shortened your life expectancy.
     
  9. Here are a few more to mull over in a slack moment:

    What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    Where does your lap go when you stand up?

    Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?

    Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    What colour does a smurf go when you choke it?
     
  10. Interestingly* this is more or less the thought experiment that led Einstien to relativity. He decided that you observe the headlight beams going away at light speed and someone stood on the ground also observes the light beams going away at light speed.
    Now that doesn't make sense, if I see them going away at light speed but I'm in a car doing nearly light speed then you, who are stationary on the ground ought to see them doing a different speed. So most people would decide at this point that they must be wrong but Einstien was sure he was right so he decided that since they both see the light traveling at the same speed but the man in the car sees it cover more distance and speed = distance / time, time must be running differently for the guy in the car.
    Clearly this is madness. Turns out it's right though. The universe is a wierd place.

    *Not really. "Not at all interestingly" might be better, "You're really going to regret starting to read this" would be better still
     
  11. 1. Wheels or fire or something.
    2. Sunderland
    3. Because it comes from the greek words for 'difficulty with' and 'words'. And we all know how hard greek is.
    4. What if he bumped his head whilst flying to his target, got knocked unconcious and wasted the plane in the sea? Well guess what the helmet is for!
    5. Smurfs don't exist.
     
  12. If you cant have your cake and eat it, whats the point in having cake?
     
  13. To save for the next cake and arrse party?
     
  14. Oh dear. There's always one. Pedantry and pseudo-intellectual shite.... Then you're not disappointed. Though I would hardly call the schoolboy level of this "pseudo-intellectual ", though I would be more inclined to agree to the shite part ...

    If you're in a vehicle going at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? The photons from the lights travel at the same speed as you, so they "relatively speaking" don't do anything. However to an external observer, the headlights would seem broghter (but no beam). and your proof is....
    Both the photons and the car are travelling at the same speed. Not difficult is it? (Apart from the fact cars don't of course travel that fast so what the F is there to argue about??)

    How does the bloke who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings? As he's got a fecking great plough on the front of his vehicle it just pushes the snow to the sides. And he gets from his place of residence to his place of work how exactly? RTFQ.
    I thought that was obvious - in the bloody snow plough. We have snow 6 months of the year here, and all the snow-plough drivers drive them home in the evening so they can drive them out in the morning. How intellectual is that?

    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
    But it is. Tw@t. It's not. At the very least it should begin with an 'f'. C0ck.

    "ph" IS pronounced "f". As in Phuck.

    Has a fish got a watertight head? Yes, the water goes in through its mouth and out through its gills. It dosn't breathe through its head. And the mouth is where precisely?
    In its face, just like yours.

    If it is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? It is closed one day every four years. (Leap year) Fcking pedant.
    Since when is giving the completely obvious answer pedantic? Unecessary, but not pedantic.

    What colour is a mirror?
    Whatever is "looking" at it. ? Not an answer. RTFQ.


    I'll concede that, so to be pedantic: Strictly speaking, a completely reflective surface has no colour. A mirror is not completely reflective, so it's colour depends on what its made of. Most mirrors are glass (no colour) with a silver compound coating on the rear side of the glass. So in most cases the answer is silver.

    If a man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
    It depends on the time of year. Blossom has both male and female components. See above.[/quote][/quote]


    I'll concede this too. So to be pedantic: When talking to a woman a man is always wrong. When talking to another man he MIGHT be wrong. So, when talking in the forest he might be wrong, but not definately wrong.

    Phew.

    For what its worth, I thought the post was good, and just enjoyed trying to find plausable answers to questions that had been stated had no answers. It's a game not intellect. Save your irritation for something worthwhile!
     
  15. Who keeps stealing my undercrackers?