Question for Guardsmen and/or ex Guardsmen

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by fairy_nuff, Apr 30, 2012.

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  1. A friend of mine asked me how the Guards know when to comeout of the sentry box and patrol their perimeters (think that's the correct term) I said that they have a clockwork mechanism under their bearskins and that' s why they are called the Woodentops. He didn't believe me, can't think why. Can someone in the wide knowledge of Arrse enlighten us please? Prefer sense to a fart.
     
  2. sirbhp

    sirbhp LE Book Reviewer

    stay in if raining come out if sunny .
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. There's a hole in the back of the box. Someone comes along every so often and shoves a shitty-great pointy stick through the hole, et voila, out they pop.
     

  4. Don't be silly,Guardsmen can't count that high.
     
  5. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    What "One, Two, Some, Many, Lots"

    Seems straightforward to me...... 8)
     
  6. They used to have a code by tapping the rifle butt on the ground. Not sure if its still so.

    Old fart
     
  7. When we got bored or had a sore back it was time to go for a walk. In the days of a proper rifle, SLR, if you were the senior soldier, you would tap and both go for a little strollette. Of course you could be a right baaaaaastard, tap and stand still. Watching the crow's face as he turns about seeing you still standing there was always a sight to behold.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  8. Safact though, every time they get to 3 they have to start again: Wan, tup three, wan....
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. You only stand in the box when its raining, and only then if its hoofing down cos its fucking rancid in those things!

    And nowadays you just talk to your mucker if your doubled up. Then its a case of flashing different hand signals. Fucking dark arts I tell thee!

    Forget about all that bollocks that "you cant talk or move". I talked to a fair few people, mainly fit American chicks.