• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Question for DEMOCRITUS

Hello Democritus :twisted: I'm 99.999999% certain that you are none other than Lt (retd) C. L. McKelvie, late the RBAI CCF, AKA "Brig" Walter Caubeen.

In a number of your postings you allude to honour, but you are not an honourable man. You are a sad, deluded coward, a liar, a bore, a whiskey raddled impotent old fool. You mention that a bayonet is too good for the likes of a politician because "only a soldier is honourable enough to die on it". So my question is...

Are you finally going to do it... are you going to top yourself?

There is nothing left for you here, it's over, your time has come. We'd all be happy to contribute to your obituary, but before we do, you are required to die.
From his post about New labour: -

"On second thoughts, a bottle of Dimple and a Browning seems a better bet. Goodbye cruel world!"

And today's the day!
And from the thread on Autumn Kelly...

Democritus "I'm not so sure about that - I saw some funny things in Ireland during my tours there, on wild, rainswept (is there any other kind?) nights out in the ulu. Mind you, I'd usually had a glass or two of Bush at the time!"

Pure Caubeen!
From the "Port" thread: -

Democritus "Pre-Conquest port, eh? Broadbent will be green with envy when he hears about this one! But for heaven's sake, man, where are the tasting notes? And the decanting tip sounds interesting; I wouldn't mind removing a stocking from a new lady - trouble is, I'm already tied to an old one!

Seriously, I'll take your word for it that using a stocking in this fashion is OK, even for a '63, provided it is new, of course! I'm also laid-back about using a plain white coffee filter - some say it affects the flavour, but it's hard to see how, really, and I'd rather run that slight risk than have a glass of great booze marred by bits of gunge in it. Finally, how right you are about the, er, "smell", but ... the nose, old bean, the nose!"

Vintage Caubeen!
Oh feck it, does that mean my port and wine are not what he cracked them up to be????? Mind you, he did say he was off to watch the football, that doesn't sound like Caubeen.
fairmaidofperth said:
Oh feck it, does that mean my port and wine are not what he cracked them up to be????? Mind you, he did say he was off to watch the football, that doesn't sound like Caubeen.
His advice was probably spot on. Shame he didn't stick to being a knowledgeable old buffer instead of larging it up as a killing machine. MOTD was a diversion.

So come on you old tosser, where's that suicide note?
Cuddles said:
Caubeen, duffdike, democritus...how is a chap to keep up? Such agility!
When's it my turn to be Caubeen?
I can do Sunday afternoon or Tuesday week.

I'll have to be a bit careful with the port though - doesn't agree with me somehow. I find myself falling over and puking a lot. Like when me and the RSM were watching the bombs going off across the Divis flats back in.....sh1t.
I have just been talking to Mulligan, he claims he put out my ceremonial saffron kilt and no 1 dress jacket with medals. Yet all I can find is a tweed jacket with leather elbows and a pair of piss-stained green moleskin trousers...oh well time for another glass of bushmills "Old Black Meths".

Latest Threads

New Posts