Quantum Mechanics

#1
That Steven Hawkings seems to be an expert on Black Holes. Isn't his nurse a Phillipino though ????

I think the police station will itemise my winterwear Don't worry, the gubment will stand bail.....
 
#2
scrofula said:
That Steven Hawkings seems to be an expert on Black Holes. Isn't his nurse a Phillipino though ????

I think the police station will itemise my winterwear Don't worry, the gubment will stand bail.....
What ever you are jabbing in to your veins, stop it now.
 
#4
I've read two books on Quantum Theory & frankly I haven't a bloody clue what they're going on about. I may as well have been reading a pornographic version Winnie the Pooh.

According to Q/P

• Every breath you take contains an atom breathed out by Marilyn Monroe.
• There is a liquid that can run uphill.
• You age faster at the top of a building than at the bottom.
• An atom can be in many different places at once, the equivalent of you being in New York and London at the same time.
• The entire human race would fit into the volume of a sugar cube.
• One per cent of the static on the television tuned between stations is the relic of the Big Bang.
• Time travel is not forbidden by the laws of physics.
• A cup of coffee weighs more when it is hot than when it is cold.
• The faster you travel, the slimmer you get.
• Then there’s that whole malarkey about the zombie kitten.

8O :? :roll:

Your most puzzled, &c.

~D.C.
 
#5
What Corps, how dare you ! I've always said here that I'm a civvie. Which I am as far as you chaps are concerned. Space cadets are neither current badge nor are they homemakers....we are the galactic future. Flash, I have no veins!
 
#7
Dashing_Chap said:
I've read two books on Quantum Theory & frankly I haven't a bloody clue what they're going on about. I may as well have been reading a pornographic version Winnie the Pooh.

According to Q/P

• Every breath you take contains an atom breathed out by Marilyn Monroe.
• There is a liquid that can run uphill. something to do with a bose-einstein condensate IRRC, which is technicaly not a liquid, and does all sorts of weird stuff, like make light move so slowly a snail could overtake it
• You age faster at the top of a building than at the bottom. do you spin faster when your further from earths "axle" so time goes slower? effect is so minor that only a quantum physicist would notice anyway
• An atom can be in many different places at once, the equivalent of you being in New York and London at the same time.
• The entire human race would fit into the volume of a sugar cube.
• One per cent of the static on the television tuned between stations is the relic of the Big Bang.
• Time travel is not forbidden by the laws of physics. it can't be, were all traveling forwards in time, at a rate of 24hours a day :)
• A cup of coffee weighs more when it is hot than when it is cold. WTF?
• The faster you travel, the slimmer you get.
• Then there’s that whole malarkey about the zombie kitten. DONT MENTION THE ZOMBIE CAT!!! I tried to explain that to a mate once. I nearly ended up in tears. never again. ever.

8O :? :roll:

Your most puzzled, &c.

~D.C.
 
#8
Dashing_Chap said:
I've read two books on Quantum Theory & frankly I haven't a bloody clue what they're going on about. I may as well have been reading a pornographic version Winnie the Pooh.
If you do have an interest in such things then read A Brief History of Time by Prof Steven Hawkins as it is designed for non-tefalheads to read and inwardly digest.
 
#9
phaserrifle said:
Dashing_Chap said:
I've read two books on Quantum Theory & frankly I haven't a bloody clue what they're going on about. I may as well have been reading a pornographic version Winnie the Pooh.

According to Q/P

• Every breath you take contains an atom breathed out by Marilyn Monroe.
• There is a liquid that can run uphill. something to do with a bose-einstein condensate IRRC, which is technicaly not a liquid, and does all sorts of weird stuff, like make light move so slowly a snail could overtake it
• You age faster at the top of a building than at the bottom. do you spin faster when your further from earths "axle" so time goes slower? effect is so minor that only a quantum physicist would notice anyway
• An atom can be in many different places at once, the equivalent of you being in New York and London at the same time.
• The entire human race would fit into the volume of a sugar cube.
• One per cent of the static on the television tuned between stations is the relic of the Big Bang.
• Time travel is not forbidden by the laws of physics. it can't be, were all traveling forwards in time, at a rate of 24hours a day :)
• A cup of coffee weighs more when it is hot than when it is cold. WTF?
• The faster you travel, the slimmer you get.
• Then there’s that whole malarkey about the zombie kitten. DONT MENTION THE ZOMBIE CAT!!! I tried to explain that to a mate once. I nearly ended up in tears. never again. ever.

8O :? :roll:

Your most puzzled, &c.

~D.C.
what the chuff is the zombie cat?
 
#10
We ....prssssshhht....already.......prssssssshhhhht....fcucked......prshrrrsssssssssshhhhhhtttt. ... your spacesuit, you thought .......prsssssshhhht.......that fart..........prsssssshhhhhhhttt...... was an accident? Prrrrrrhhhhherrrt?
 
#14
A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson is a very good layman's guide to all sorts of complex and obscure science, and explains all of this quite well.
 
#15
Crimson_Chin said:
BV_Technician said:
Going to guess he means Schrödinger's cat.
fookin hell my head hurts after reading that.
Non-tefalhead version.
The cat is alive when put in the box, if you open the box the cat will die.
Leave the box for X amount of time and you don't know if the cat is now dead from starvation or still alive. Since you know opening the box will kill the cat anyway, you can't tell what state the cat is in without killing it.
Basically it's about not knowing the state of something without looking at it, but by looking at it, you change it so you just buggered the experiment up. So you can't look at it, but then you don't know and so on. ;-)
 
#16
Oh no, I believe we may be in with another deep thread of relevant relativity. :x

The zombie cat, well, umm…

Apparently something behaves in a weird way if you don’t observe it, so a chap called Schrodinger made up an experiment whereby you place a cat in a box with some poison & this other stuff. The only way you can see if it’s dead or still alive is if you observe it. But if you do observe it then it effects the ‘stuff’, which in turn effects the poison & kills the cat. But if you don’t observe it then you cannot tell if the cat is alive or dead, something to do with the ‘uncertainty principle’. Ergo, it is alive & dead at the same time, if that makes any sense at all whatsoever… :roll:

A video to confuse you further:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7SjFJImg2Z8

There’s probably better videos around to explain it.

I believe the liquid is superfluid Helium -4, according to the book, a video of this strange stuff in action here:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z6UJbwxBZI

Most bizarre! 8O

-DC
 
#17
Stephen Hawkings released "An Even Briefer History of Time" aswell. Apparently it takes practice to dumb the topic down enough for us to comprehend it.
 
#18
I've got that & attempted to read it too, but I’m afraid I’m far too dense so I merely pretend to understand it in order to impress the daft fillies on the London Underground.

I’m currently reading a fab book on Chaos Theory & Non linear Dynamics, which is meant to be the next big science thing. It’s something to do with the mathematical patterns in nature that can be seen in all sorts of things, from the weather, to stock markets, population fluctuations & even the design of sea shells. The thesis is something along the lines of there being chaos in nature & the natural world, but there’s a recognisable pattern to it all too.

I didn’t even do GCSE physics so it’s certainly out of my field, I guess this is just a humble attempt to better myself & understanding. Good read though!


-DC
 
#19
Sorry chaps, beilliant though your nuclear physics obviously is, you have forgotten the Tarrantino. Found in Switzerland, at a film festival, of all places, this small particle of shit can explode in the cinema, when collided with equally gormless fools. I have personally often considered a Europe-wide box-office success called " Where's my kebab you barsteward?" Sadly, funding has not yet been forthcoming.... but having collideded an enormous amount of shit together for gross quantities of money, who the flying fcuk cares. Shit! There's a research project! Can ba fcuk fly? Is it possible?. Hi son, here's $2 million. Septics. When they weep it smells nasty.
 
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