QM Foibles

Discussion in 'Officers' started by pombsen-armchair-warrior, Jul 29, 2008.

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  1. I've known a great selection of QMs over the years, some excellent, some merely good, many average, and a few exceedingly poor.

    One thing they all have in common, however, is a trait that obliges each of them, at varying intervals, to focus on an issue that the rest of the unit couldn't really give a stuff about, but which, after the QM applies his touch, causes immense alarm and despondency in said unit.

    One such example is a QM(T) at 39 Hy Regt in the late 80s who insisted on personally checking that the number of screws, nuts and bolts received from Bicester tallied with the receipt voucher. The floor of the shed was literally covered with said expense items whilst QM religiously counted them, with his long-suffering staff at hand to confirm and action any discrepancies.

    This particular fellow was followed by a chap who, for a short time, insisted on personally stopping every veh at the gates of Dempsey Barracks and checking it for condition and completeness. Anything that didn't meet his exacting standards was turned back, after some strong words, for remedial work. Didn't particularly mind until I was personally inconvenienced as my ski-team LR, on its way to get a civilian paint job before we proceeded to the RA Ski Camp in Pontresina, was turned back to have some remedial patch-painting in Olive Drab completed before being allowed out to be repainted in ca fetching shade of civvy blue.

    Couldn't really make it up but all, I suppose, part of that rich tapestry of Army life.
  2. msr

    msr LE

    So where does he (are there any female ones?) rate on your scale?

  3. MSR,

    First one good. Second one very good and did an excellent job running the ACP on GRANBY.

    However, my point wasn't to assess their overall ability, merely to highlight some 'oh-so-human' flaws.

  4. A Gunner QM in the mid-70's gave me a long and interesting diatribe on why one of the Gun Battery Stores had an extra Storm Lantern I found during a G1098 check. As an RAOC subaltern attached he felt he had to give the full works on the "error". He also quite mistakenly thought I knew what I was talking about!

    I couldn't really have cared less to be truthful but he was a fire-eating old burgger and put the fear of God into me. :D
  5. My first QM (subsequently my OC) was a man who could have been the dictionary definition of 'old school' but an absolutely fantastic character and who had the respect of the entire Bn.

    However, he would insist on driving back from Germany to the NE at 55 MPH as this gave him the best fuel efficiency from his car, despite the fact that it took him about 3 weeks to get home!

    He also insisted that his clerk load the printer so it printed on the back of already used paper to save money. This probably halved the life of the printer as it jammed every 3 pages!!
  6. The QM at JLRRE Dover in 1986 was an ex boy soldier himself, ex 9 sqn and all round 'orrible c unt"

    His "foible" was hiding from marching squads, jumping out at the last minute on them, and then ragging them over the assault course for not paying him the proper compliment.

    a mentalist.
  7. We had a legend working as our QM(T) back in the late 80s/early 90s when I was with the 14/20H. Maj Dr****r (known as Drac) was a complete eccentric but got the job done regardless of the task/requiremnt/time/difficulty. He'd come from Tpr to QM(T) and knew every trick in the book and would often re-write said book, adding his own solutions whenever necessary.

    It was not unheard of for him to tell the new CO how to run things and, if the CO suggested otherwise then Drac would repeat the advice only a tad louder.

    I remember when on Soltau with a buggered 432 (gearbox) that Drac turned up, strode across and asked what the problem was. Then, three hours later he turns up with a complete gearbox. His last words as he drove off were "Get it sorted and get back in to the fight larrr"!

    Top bloke
  8. Once had a QM (T) take a packet into the impact area on a night move on Salisbury plain. Aparently the exploding shells weren't clue enough!!