Putting up a face/trying to be chipper

OK. So worst time to be posting a thread or anything really. I am not even drunk. Have been sober for a day now, almost. My parents are now divorcing. I feel so completely alone and idiotic, really for even posting this.

My usual support group has completely vanished, due to various reasons. I am a nobody. Never felt this low in life. Just trying to figure out why I should carry on with everything. I have temp flatmates for a week and everybody thinks I am fucking great and all, a charmer. But it's all a pretence and and putting up a face.

Sorry for being a downer and a loser.
 

mrdude

War Hero
Try phoning the Samaritans - all you'll probably get on this forum is told to man up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. In life shit happens, life does not consist of only good stuff - you need to learn to take the rough with the smooth. Sure, maybe that's not what you need to hear - but it's as honest as I can be. As you get older you learn to deal with the crap and it gets easier the older/smarter you get.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
My parents divorced when I was 8 years old. I had a pretty shite childhood.

I got over it.

You’ll get over this. Life goes on.

Find something to distract you, buy yourself a shiny new toy, go on holiday, meet some new people.
 

Truxx

LE
OK. So worst time to be posting a thread or anything really. I am not even drunk. Have been sober for a day now, almost. My parents are now divorcing. I feel so completely alone and idiotic, really for even posting this.

My usual support group has completely vanished, due to various reasons. I am a nobody. Never felt this low in life. Just trying to figure out why I should carry on with everything. I have temp flatmates for a week and everybody thinks I am ******* great and all, a charmer. But it's all a pretence and and putting up a face.

Sorry for being a downer and a loser.
Chin up. I bet there are few here who have not found themselves bumping along the bottom for a while.

Get a dog. A rescue one of possible.Or borrow one.

Just stay cool and hang loose.
 

skid2

LE
Book Reviewer
The parents may be getting divorced. But they’re still there and they’re going to need you now more than ever. It’s not much fun, but they’ll probably appreciate knowing that you love them.........as much as they love you.
The only difference being you’ll be doing the same thing in two different venues.

Keep breathing, you’re not an orphan.
 
You are you, you are not your parents, and you're not responsible for their actions.

Think of the the reasons why each of your parents want you around, even if for their own reasons.
 
My mate Jim went on a world walkabout, all the usual places, as well as ending up at Everest Base Camp, then on to Sydney, Oz, for a year working as a runner for an investment bank.

He flew back to the UK, went home, rang the door bell and a strange woman answered the door. "Hello, where is my mum"? "They don't live here anymore, they got divorced".

You think you have problems? He gets on with both his parents, and they can even be in the same room and be polite to each other.

They are both adults capable of making joined up decisions. They may not want to be together anymore but, it does not mean they don't each want you around in their respective lives.
 
OK. So worst time to be posting a thread or anything really. I am not even drunk. Have been sober for a day now, almost. My parents are now divorcing. I feel so completely alone and idiotic, really for even posting this.

My usual support group has completely vanished, due to various reasons. I am a nobody. Never felt this low in life. Just trying to figure out why I should carry on with everything. I have temp flatmates for a week and everybody thinks I am ******* great and all, a charmer. But it's all a pretence and and putting up a face.

Sorry for being a downer and a loser.

At least you managed to spell 'loser' correctly (unlike most internet posters) :razz:

You've managed to survive on ARRSE for this long without flouncing, so I reckon you'll be fine 'IRL' once you've got a grip of yourself.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
you may well find that you all get on much better once they divorce
its not your fault

of course just after Xmas and with the cold weather as well, can add to the depression

get out of the flat and get some exercise, walk into town
get a dog

take up Morris Dancing ( it wont help but will give us a good laugh )
if it helps I have spent all of xmas either on call outs, taking people to hospital or the Mortuary and getting one family member sectioned
it was getting me down
but I went into Pattiserie Valerie for some cakes and to perve over the nice young ladies from St Trinians
my wife thinks I should be sectioned !!!
 
OK. So worst time to be posting a thread or anything really. I am not even drunk. Have been sober for a day now, almost. My parents are now divorcing. I feel so completely alone and idiotic, really for even posting this.
My parents went their separate ways about 15 years ago now. My tuppence worth?
There will be a good reason for it. That means that, long term, they will be better off apart and happy than together and miserable.

If it's amicable, good. If it's a decision only one of them has made standby for the other talking to you for support and to try and build their self-confidence back up. I remember an awkward chat with my dad discussing a colleague's divorce. The bloke's wife apparently had an affair due to the bloke being crap in bed and the unspoken statement of "I wonder if that's why your mum left me".

Both of them will talk to you about it. Try and remain impartial - even if they aren't trying to get you on 'their side' the conversation will inevitably end up with what a bastard/bitch they were married to at some point. I still occasionally have to tell my mum that I will happily talk to her when she wants a chat but I'm not discussing what [insert various family members name here] have done this week and how offended she is.

Things settle down and then it's just a case of not getting into arguments over who you're visiting at christmas.
 
When it gets beyond (just) feeling sh1t, and nothing seems to work, SEE A DOCTOR ;) .

Believe me, they will (eventually), find the pill/tablet that works for you.
 
You ent dead
You're not living in Syria, Yemen, Venezuela, Chicago
You don't have a terminal & agonising illness
You weren't born more than 100 years ago

That means you're better off than 99.99% of humans who have ever lived

Chin up matey & keep off the falling down water, as it only makes it worse (I'm a SME, so bite me).
 
I find as you get older you need change, and specifically you need to distrupt your comfort zone and your routine

Every year aim to learn a new skill, it doesn't have to be something you need to know, just the act of learning will keep you young

From your post it displays signs of depression, which is itself something irrational that you can't just snap out of. But, you can keep yourself constantly occupied so that you never have time to sit and think that deep, it's no cure but it does alleviate the symptoms

Life is shit, but however low you get you can make it better
 

dan_brown

War Hero
My parents divorced when i was in my early teens - fecked me up and i ended up leaving school with almost nothing except a desire to get as far away from everyone as possible.

As an adult now, i can see my dad had a happier life, mum also remarried, but unfortunately died at a young age :(

What i am saying is, that they are adults and they know what is best for them - only thing you can do is know you're not to blame and just be there to support them.

Oh and don't forget you want double Xmas prezzies and we want pics of your dads new, young shag piece.
 
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StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
OK. So worst time to be posting a thread or anything really. I am not even drunk. Have been sober for a day now, almost. My parents are now divorcing. I feel so completely alone and idiotic, really for even posting this.

My usual support group has completely vanished, due to various reasons. I am a nobody. Never felt this low in life. Just trying to figure out why I should carry on with everything. I have temp flatmates for a week and everybody thinks I am ******* great and all, a charmer. But it's all a pretence and and putting up a face.

Sorry for being a downer and a loser.
Being somewhat of a sneaky beaky type when it comes to deciphering posts, I'd say this:

1) being sober is a positive. Stay that way.

2) You can't do anything about your parents divorcing, so don't try.

3) We are all "nobody" in the grand scheme of things.

4) The bit I highlighted reflects your thread title. If you saw my recent thread, you might see that you're not the only one doing this. Put on the face for long enough, and you might even start to become that person! (Sorry if that sounds yucky, but it's true. )

Good luck to you, I'm always up for a chat. Are you still in UK and parents in US?
 
Everything StBob said, but you could also phone them up and tell you love 'em no matter what happens.
But lay off the booze, unless your in a good place. Take care brother and it will get better, just be patient.
 
Well, it could be worse, they could be dead. As it is, they are alive, but will probably be much happier, ergo, better and easier to be around.
On another related note, your Mum, has she got nice paps?
 

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