Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by DieHard, Aug 21, 2007.

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  1. DieHard

    DieHard LE Book Reviewer

    While on holiday with the wife and kids we saw a comedian who thought the best way to get a laugh was taking the p*ss out of members of the audience ,not too good when its a family park.
    Anyway he saw me and my brood and started on us with a joke about breeding i shouted up to him does it take long to get ready for your act? his reply was no so i said it must do, you must of spent hours painting your teeth yellow just for tonight, the audience roared the comic just looked at me said cnut and walked off stage to a slow clap .
    Result free drinks all around.
    Anyone else got some good putdowns ? :p
  2. DieHard

    DieHard LE Book Reviewer

    Mind you the fcker must of been good at voodo or something cos i had a heart attack the next afternoon , my wife was going to get hold off him and say he was so shite it gave me a heart attack .
  3. CO (in civvi life ran his own advertising company) speaking at the lads in the way CO's do. Someone made some remark and the CO said "I suppose you have trouble picking up girls too".
  4. Yes, the vet. Take your wife there, followed by yourself you gammy hearted, unfunny fuckwit.
  5. Well said Old Boy.
  6. True, true, but not very interesting.
  7. I once had the absolute delight of being within earshot of an absolutely stunning retort from a member of the WRAC Provost to an obnoxious drunken Royal Highland Fusilier.
    She was a slim very attractive and typically blue eyed blonde girl. He was full of beer and bollox and determined to intimidate. Having clocked her blonde hair he leered in the way with which all of us here are well aquainted and asked if she had "matching collar and cuffs". His mates sniggered like school boys and I was already filling in his room reservation for the night. Cool as you like she said "No mate, shirt sleeve order"
    Uh? Said the drunk.
    She replied "Listen in, NO CUFFS AT ALL!"
    He was speechless and his face was a picture as his mates were now sniggering at him not with him.
    A lesson in what they today call "conflict resolution I think" and the beer was on me at the end of that shift.
  8. Like your life then you rancid civilian cnut.
  9. although not one of mine. I liked the letter groutcho marx sent after recieving a book from a would be writer.

    "From the time I picked up your book to the time I set it down I could not stop laughing...... sometime I may read it"
  10. One of my bosses is ex- RAF Regt.

    Keeps saying in his usual inter service banter kind of way... "Ah...you'll never make it in the Army, never make it, no way."

    My reply today: "It's alright mate, if I don't 'cos it's too hard, I'll just join the RAF"

    His face...priceless ;)
  11. What makes you think they'll want you? If I were you I'd run with the Rock's prediction and go and join Faye in the Navy...
  12. It might be because he has a penchant for wearing white socks with all clothing except phys kit because we all know the RAF are allergic to breaking into a sweat except in the instance where they may have to work past 1700hrs.
  13. If you want to waste good drinking time more fool you... :wave: