Pussy needed for monday

#1
Well I see people are honest and have disclosed their needs. I would like a small pussy for Monday, shaven or unshaven. Can collect if local.

Grandson is upset as his went missing over Xmas. He stuck up some posters, but someone scrawled on them "Tasted like Chicken"
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
whe're you at?

independant cat charities like newstart are less addicted to making you wait 8 weeks for them to be bothered with a home visit.

gumtree is a good source of kittens as well. kitten season is getting later so february ready kittens born in november are less rare than they used to be.
 
#6
Well I see people are honest and have disclosed their needs. I would like a small pussy for Monday, shaven or unshaven. Can collect if local.

Grandson is upset as his went missing over Xmas. He stuck up some posters, but someone scrawled on them "Tasted like Chicken"
you dont live in a "muslim patrol area" do you?
 
#9
Can give you a good recipe for Paella for when he gets tired of it.

Many put in rabbit instead of chicken so there is loads of precedent.


Ingredients

170g/6oz chorizo, cut into thin slices

110g/4oz pancetta, cut into small dice

2 cloves garlic finely chopped

1 large Spanish onion, finely diced

1 red pepper, diced

1 tsp soft thyme leaves

¼ tsp dried red chilli flakes

570ml/1pint calasparra (Spanish short-grain) rice

1 tsp paprika

125ml/4fl oz dry white wine

1.2 litres/2 pints chicken stock, heated with ¼ tsp saffron strands

8 chicken thighs, each chopped in half and browned

18 small clams, cleaned

110g/4oz fresh or frozen peas

4 large tomatoes, de-seeded and diced

125ml/4fl oz good olive oil

1 head garlic, cloves separated and peeled

12 jumbo raw prawns, in shells

450g/1lb squid, cleaned and chopped into bite-sized pieces

5 tbsp chopped flatleaf parsley

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Preparation method

Heat half the olive oil in a paella dish or heavy-based saucepan. Add the chorizo and pancetta and fry until crisp. Add the garlic, onion and pepper and heat until softened. Add the thyme, chilli flakes and calasparra rice, and stir until all the grains of rice are nicely coated and glossy. Now add the paprika and dry white wine and when it is bubbling, pour in the hot chicken stock, add the chicken thighs and cook for 5-10 minutes.

Now place the clams into the dish with the join facing down so that the edges open outwards. Sprinkle in the peas and chopped tomatoes and continue to cook gently for another 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat the remaining oil with the garlic cloves in a separate pan and add the prawns. Fry quickly for a minute or two then add them to the paella. Now do the same with the squid and add them to the paella too.

Scatter the chopped parsley over the paella and serve immediately.
 
#10
Result! I've had one come available this morning and I hope you can hold on. Send me your address and I will post it to you. It will fit through the letter box, so no need to wait in for a courier.
 
#11
Now place the clams into the dish with the join facing down so that the edges open outwards. Sprinkle in the peas and chopped tomatoes and continue to cook gently for another 10 minutes.

...and serve immediately.
Small smile on face.
Well its Monday morning and I now have a very weird mental picture in my head.
 
#12
Small smile on face.
Well its Monday morning and I now have a very weird mental picture in my head.

You Twat! Now I have a wierd mental picture too, and in 45 mins I have a one to one teaching session with a very attractive cuban milf who has got massive firm mammaries and I'm going to be thinking of that all the way through.

Ho-hum, life (and other things) can be hard. I may never forgive you for this.

Still good luck with the cat hunt.
 
#13
If you marinate the skinned and salted joints of the cat in buttermilk overnight that pissy old moggy taste fades considerably. Even that mangey old tom from next door will be palatable!
 

DieHard

LE
Book Reviewer
#16
Can give you a good recipe for Paella for when he gets tired of it.

Many put in rabbit instead of chicken so there is loads of precedent.


Ingredients

170g/6oz chorizo, cut into thin slices

110g/4oz pancetta, cut into small dice

2 cloves garlic finely chopped

1 large Spanish onion, finely diced

1 red pepper, diced

1 tsp soft thyme leaves

¼ tsp dried red chilli flakes

570ml/1pint calasparra (Spanish short-grain) rice

1 tsp paprika

125ml/4fl oz dry white wine

1.2 litres/2 pints chicken stock, heated with ¼ tsp saffron strands

8 chicken thighs, each chopped in half and browned

18 small clams, cleaned

110g/4oz fresh or frozen peas

4 large tomatoes, de-seeded and diced

125ml/4fl oz good olive oil

1 head garlic, cloves separated and peeled

12 jumbo raw prawns, in shells

450g/1lb squid, cleaned and chopped into bite-sized pieces

5 tbsp chopped flatleaf parsley

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Preparation method

Heat half the olive oil in a paella dish or heavy-based saucepan. Add the chorizo and pancetta and fry until crisp. Add the garlic, onion and pepper and heat until softened. Add the thyme, chilli flakes and calasparra rice, and stir until all the grains of rice are nicely coated and glossy. Now add the paprika and dry white wine and when it is bubbling, pour in the hot chicken stock, add the chicken thighs and cook for 5-10 minutes.

Now place the clams into the dish with the join facing down so that the edges open outwards. Sprinkle in the peas and chopped tomatoes and continue to cook gently for another 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat the remaining oil with the garlic cloves in a separate pan and add the prawns. Fry quickly for a minute or two then add them to the paella. Now do the same with the squid and add them to the paella too.

Scatter the chopped parsley over the paella and serve immediately.
How many does it serve? It seems a lot

Sent by Crapatalk. Sitting on my bog having a dump.
 

TheIronDuke

On ROPS
On ROPs
Book Reviewer
#18
Can give you a good recipe for Paella for when he gets tired of it.

Many put in rabbit instead of chicken so there is loads of precedent.


Ingredients

170g/6oz chorizo, cut into thin slices

110g/4oz pancetta, cut into small dice

2 cloves garlic finely chopped

1 large Spanish onion, finely diced

1 red pepper, diced

1 tsp soft thyme leaves

¼ tsp dried red chilli flakes

570ml/1pint calasparra (Spanish short-grain) rice

1 tsp paprika

125ml/4fl oz dry white wine

1.2 litres/2 pints chicken stock, heated with ¼ tsp saffron strands

8 chicken thighs, each chopped in half and browned

18 small clams, cleaned

110g/4oz fresh or frozen peas

4 large tomatoes, de-seeded and diced

125ml/4fl oz good olive oil

1 head garlic, cloves separated and peeled

12 jumbo raw prawns, in shells

450g/1lb squid, cleaned and chopped into bite-sized pieces

5 tbsp chopped flatleaf parsley

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Preparation method

Heat half the olive oil in a paella dish or heavy-based saucepan. Add the chorizo and pancetta and fry until crisp. Add the garlic, onion and pepper and heat until softened. Add the thyme, chilli flakes and calasparra rice, and stir until all the grains of rice are nicely coated and glossy. Now add the paprika and dry white wine and when it is bubbling, pour in the hot chicken stock, add the chicken thighs and cook for 5-10 minutes.

Now place the clams into the dish with the join facing down so that the edges open outwards. Sprinkle in the peas and chopped tomatoes and continue to cook gently for another 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat the remaining oil with the garlic cloves in a separate pan and add the prawns. Fry quickly for a minute or two then add them to the paella. Now do the same with the squid and add them to the paella too.

Scatter the chopped parsley over the paella and serve immediately.
That is a bollocks recipe and will take ages. Chopping onions? Fuck off.

Take your cat. Start eating at it's nose. Stop eating when you come to the puckered little arsehole. Do what you want with its tail. I couldn't give a fuck.
 
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