Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by AlphaKennyThing, Feb 24, 2013.

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  1. Friday night, everyone is off out to get plastered in the local town or further afield depending on proximity to most recent payday, and you've been a naughty boy (..or girl) and find yourself walking in the rain to the guardroom carrying your firing squad ammo/whip/everything you own/contents of bedspace/bed/failed inspection item/AGAI Form [DELETE AS APPROPRIATE DEPENDING ON ERA SERVED], off to suffer whatever fate has been bestowed unto you by the prosecuting NCO/Officer.

    Now, upon arrival, you find you're inevitably not the only person to have been caught doing something that has displeased someone with more going on on their rank slide than you.

    Out comes whoever is in charge of disciplining the felons, and people begin reeling off what they're being bounced for. No doubt some ARRSErs will be able to recall or have been caught doing some particularly comical things, and I reckon it'd be a good laugh to hear 'em.

    Anyone ever hear of/do anything particularly epic that has landed them/someone else in a world of shite whilst serving?

    Nothing to share of my own as we're all boring as fuck nowadays. It's the PlayStations, must be.
  2. There were a couple of guys who stole a train and managed to wipe out a flock of geese at 4(f) Wing in southern Germany. Bit before my time though.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. And that bloke who told the RSM the shit wasn't at his end, but that was well before I was in.
  4. Was that just before, or just after, he thumped him as he had just been woken?
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  5. Has anybody ever stolen a tram? Slaughter of geese not essential, just a quick trip on a tram.
  6. My mate got brutally raped as a punishment while serving at Deepcut, and then he topped himself.

    Does that count?
    • Like Like x 3
  7. That was the same bloke mate who borrowed the stolly to go home..remember him well.
  8. I know a bloke who was done for being drunk in charge of a pram.
  9. That was before, it was just after that he nicked that Stalwart and set off across the channel.

    Edit - See backed up by OF above :)
  10. One dark night in a land far away an unassuming young fellow from Support Coy 1 RGJ took a 432 from one of the rifle company sheds and parked it in the CO's office. The perpetrator of this heinous crime was never found- omerta you see- so the razzman took away our summers.

    He still hasn't reinstated the bastards either.
  11. Would a trolley-bus count?
  12. A big Welsh lad (Reece) stood talking to the Station Commanders wife at the summer ball. She was seated next to hubby. Gets his cock out, dunks it in stashies drink and was about to wipe it on her dress before getting jumped by every snco within leaping distance.

    Guard room every night until 28 days colly.

    RAF Cosford 1999

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
  13. Class.
  14. Another Welsh compadre of mine got 28 days for dumping on the bonnet of a jerry reg'd BMW with a nice blonde in it out of the back of a 4 tonner - Just so happened to be asst Provost Marshal's bint - nice reception committee waiting for him when he got into barracks!
  15. I got shouted at once, fluff on my beret, half shaven, still drunk on parade, I was so miffed I told the RSM where he could stick his fucking parade.....looking back it wasn't a very good decision on my part.