Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Geepz, May 28, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. My mate is currently at catterick, he's passed out and is going to his barracks in a few weeks. He passed his driving test this week and got leave from tuesday till today as a result. He got pissed up this afternoon, was supposed to be at camp for 9PM, got the 11PM train from Manchester to Leeds and the next train leaves Leeds at half 2, via york, arriving in Darlington at half 6. What kind of punishment is he going to face?

    I have spoken to him on the phone and could only get incoherent babble from him, I have a feeling I won't be speaking to him for a while..
  2. 'Your mate'? Not called Geepz is he, by any chance?
  3. Jesus Christ, who hasn't done this. He won't be burned at the stake. Stand by for a burst of unpleasantness.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. No, I'm in the process of joining up but haven't done my ADSC yet. The guy in question is an old school friend of mine, I had a beer with him on Thursday but due to my current job being ridiculous hours I have been working all weekend. I saw a facebook post of his, stating he had to be in camp at 9PM and was only leaving Manchester then I tried to ring him, but got a few grunts in response, before putting the phone down. Now wondering what kind of punishment he is looking at, I thought to post on here and ask some guys who might actually know.
  5. They'll chuck him in jail for about 2 years. No they won't, he'll get into some minor admin rubbish but nothing he won't be able to handle.
  6. Shame. I find myself wishing he would be beasted into the middle of next week.. It's not a big deal I take it then?
  7. Trot on mong child.
  8. Both relevant and justified.
  9. Are you a girl? I'm in a masochistic mood today. I want to punish you til the blood runs down your legs xxx
  10. I take it your mate is a youngster, what with him having such an early return time. So that he can be counted and tucked into bed before lights out. As such he won't get it too bad. I predict a telling off at the guardroom, followed by a telling off by his Sgt, followed by a telling off by his CSM, followed by being up in front of his Coy/Sqn commander for another telling off. At this stage he can get to make his grovelling appologies for being late back and then accept his "award", or punishment in ordinary langueage. This could be a fine, or restriction of privillages, or extra duties, or any of those in combination. But shortly after that it will wind down and if he keeps out of trouble for a while, then all will be good. However, if he's pissed up and misbehaves then he could get charged with more than just being late back, particularly if he makes a kunt of himself, or much worse if he gets arrested by plod and brought back to camp by them. Another point is that if he's under drinking age and gets pissed after being told not to go drinking then they will be more cross with him, and could add a smacked botty to his award. Or whatever they decide at his interview with his coy commander. But wait and see, it could all come down to almost nothing.

    But what is it you want to hear? Worse case scenario is that he gets more pissed, starts trouble, gets arrested and held by plod, then collected by the RPs. Then he could end up with anything from the list above, or even get banged up in Colchester and/or thrown out. Endex. But that hasn't happened yet, it's more likely he'll just get back late and face some minor administrative action leading to a fine and extra duties, but nothing major. Sounds like you are worrying about this more than he is.
  11. No. He'll be standing outside Bn HQ at 0900hrs in his best kit listening to the Duty Piper playing 'A Man's A Man For A' That' then the ferocious RSM sporting, among others, the ribbon of the DCM will inspect him and ask him questions on regimental history after which the Provost Sgt (a giant of a man with the BEM and a face looking like it was hit with a GS shovel at birth) will rip his glengarry off (and most of his hair) at which time he will be rifted into the CO's office at warp speed and 'awarded' 28 days confinement.
    Your 'friend' will then be doubled to the Unit Detention Centre by the Provost Corporal (who occasionally has flashbacks to him and 'Big Bill' standing back to back at Kowang San and lashes out at anyone in his near vicinity) with various other members of the regimental constabulary nipping at his heels and ordered to remove his 'shoes highland' prior to entering so they will not scratch the glass like finish of the guardroom floor as he's punched gleefully around it by the afore mentioned staff.
    Said 'friend' is then shown to his cell which is already occupied by another Soldier Under Sentence, Big Mad Shug, who he will spend the next 28 days with during which time the latter will deprive your friend of most of his meals and the one item of personal kit your friend's allowed to keep, a nice photo of his girlfriend, which Shug will masturbate over appreciatively and use your friend's towel afterwards as there's no curtains in the cell.

    Your friend will emerge after 28 days with Brasso, Kiwi, and Blanco tins scraped and shining like silver, wearing bulled boots, a baldy head, and a very healthy body, carrying a very dog eared photo of his girlfriend in his pocket. He will be crestfallen to find that Big Shug, released two days previously, has already called his (your 'friend's') girlfriend and told her he has fallen in love with her, your friend's even more pissed off when he finds she's agreed to meet him.

    Other than that your friend will be fine.

    Oh wait.... it's different now......!
    • Like Like x 3
  12. if he is late by 24 hours or under then he will get AGAi'd and 1 days leave taken from his card. Then as he gets served his AGAI paperwork he will no doubt get pulled up for a haircut or something trivial then he will get show parades to death
  13. Crucifixition for a first offence isn't it?
  14. Crucifixion?? Lucky bastard, I was hung, drawn and quartered just for having my boots laced the wrong way! Fkin kids these days get it far too easy!!
  15. You mention Jehovah ?