Punching the Prime Minister.

#1
A serious question, so hence not in the NAAFI.

If I was to Punch the Pime Minister firmly and squarely on the nose. Would I be convicted for premeditated assault or hung from the yard arm, after being tried under some archaic law.

Its a serious question ladies and gents. No Im not planning anything.

SK
 
#2
I believe you would get GBH, as your mitigating circumstaces would reduce the severity of the crime.

(You would also get an ARRSE medal)
 
#3
Contrary to popular belief, the Army Rumour Service is not promoting the armed overthrow of HMG by the British Military, but simply aims to provide a useful, informative and amusing resource to all.


Ermhum.......... :)
 
#4
You might also get a 9 milly hole to the head as out glorious leader has armed protection officers at his beck and call (can't understand why he would ever need them....)
 
#6
Would you be charged with trying to prevent the perversion of justice?
 
#7
Albeit too late.
 
#8
Facey_Romford said:
Try the Deputy Prime Minister instead (if you can track him down to his country house).

He might even give you a bit of a scrap.
I doubt there would be any scraps left after two-bellies has finished wiping the plate clean!

And his right hook was nowhere near as good as it was made out to be.
 
#9
In uniform it would probably classed as assaulting an officer as he is the Queen’s minister whether we like it or not.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#11
Conspiracy. A lovely by-way of English law. It is (I think?) the only case where the onus is on you to prove your innocence, rather than being innocent until proved guilty.

Conspiracy to murder (plenty people been killed by one punch)
Conspiracy to commit treason
Conspiracy to waste police time
Conspiracy to get onto Richard & Judy
 
#12
offog said:
In uniform it would probably classed as assaulting an officer as he is the Queen’s minister whether we like it or not.
Is there such an offence as "asaulting an officer"? And how do you define officer?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
I'd say that if you fancied your chances of getting past the armed protection by being unarmed yourself (do it naked), you'd simply get a GBH.

You could indeed plead mitigating circumstances on the basis of any number of 10,000 reasons why he's fcuked your life up.

You wouldn't be on the new years honours list however well deserved as you can't get on with a conviction, but you would still be the hero of the people.

Prescott was not defending himself when he lashed out and punched that bloke, but he still got away with it.
 
#14
Biped said:
I'd say that if you fancied your chances of getting past the armed protection by being unarmed yourself (do it naked), you'd simply get a GBH.

You could indeed plead mitigating circumstances on the basis of any number of 10,000 reasons why he's fcuked your life up.

You wouldn't be on the new years honours list however well deserved as you can't get on with a conviction, but you would still be the hero of the people.

Prescott was not defending himself when he lashed out and punched that bloke, but he still got away with it.

And there, Gentlemen, is the perfect, nay DS, solution. All you have to do is manage to get The Rt Hon Anthony Blair MP PC etc to chuck a small barn egg at you, and you can thump him back!!!!!!
 
#15
Dear Queen
Please could you fix it for me to punch the shiite out of your Prime Minister Tony Blair. We are all aware you think he is a slimy worm as well so I would be willing to put the boot in a couple of times on your behalf.

I remain your loyal subject




Enough of us send the above letter and perhaps she just might!
 
#16
bugger I thought this was a raffle prize!............................................



was just about to ask where I can buy my tickets!!
 
#17
SKJOLD said:
Would I be convicted for premeditated assault or hung from the yard arm,
You can't be executed for anything in Britain. Blair abolished hanging for the last remaining capital crimes in 1998. IIRC these crimes were treason, piracy and, during war time, mutiny and arson in a RN dockyard.

There was a gallows kept and tested every six months at Winchester prison just in case it was needed. I heard the Navy also maintained a gallows at Portsmouth but I'm less sure about that.

Technically, treason includes shagging the wife of the heir to the throne. Thus we missed a golden opportunity to get rid of that little tw@t James 'Ill do anything for money' Hewitt.

Does anybody know how he bacame a major? I read that he failed his promotion exams and retired as a captain. How could he get promotion after retiring?
 
#18
A slap on the back and a celebratory slap up meal at Mrs Miggins' Pieshop. Also the thanks of a grateful nation.
 
#19
If you guys can persuade the cops to look t'other way, I'll do it. I'd love to, but I don't fancy getting filled in
 
#20
TheIronDuke said:
Conspiracy. A lovely by-way of English law. It is (I think?) the only case where the onus is on you to prove your innocence, rather than being innocent until proved guilty.

Conspiracy to murder (plenty people been killed by one punch)
Conspiracy to commit treason
Conspiracy to waste police time
Conspiracy to get onto Richard & Judy
Surely in itself a much more heinous crime?!
 

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