pulling a sicky

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by hardcoreta, Jun 11, 2007.

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  1. any ideas on how to pull a decent sickie on your last but one day at work before you finish there forever. bearing in mind this is a civvie job and in a fecking shop. what do you reckon to being up all night with the shits etc. also my boss is married to a raf warrant officer but i dont give a toss. cheers for your help lads
  2. Give me the shop number I'll make the call for you?

    Why do you work in a shop? not listen at school?
  3. You could always tell them that you were brutally gangraped by a group of overly muscular folk.
    Put them off asking questions by describing how your hoop was so savagely violated that it prolapsed, and how you need to have your eyes checked, as your eyelids have fused together as a result of the forced bukkake session.

    Alternatively, just go in to work you jack cnut, everyone else has to.
  4. Whats that got to do with anything?

    Reference your problem you could set your head on fire, this way you wont have to lie to your boss and you get the day off.
  5. If you cant give a toss, why are you wasting everyones time by asking for ideas? Surely you are a big enough W*nker to skive off anyway
  6. Hardcoreta,

    I employ 26 people and it's cnuts like you that cost me about 10grand a year in contracts missed and temps hired.

    Come to my firm and do that, I won't pay you your final salary or end of contract bonus.

    Reading this on a day two people are sick, cnuts.

    Hope your day is ruined through guilt.

  7. shop selling what?
    please don't say porn or stamps
  8. Seconded!
  9. thirded?
  10. No i'm spartacus

    You are a lazy waste of space and i hope your boss reads arrse and figures out your username. And like the look of your arse.

    At the mo i work in an engineering company, and i have raging sinusitis that the doc told me to take time off and rest. However, if we do that we miss project deadlines.

    So here i am, just keeping my mouth shut and doing the job i'm paid to do.

    Where did you say you work again?
  11. Fourthed!

  12. Im with you on that one, i haven't had a day sick in years.
  13. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I agree with just about everyone on heer.

    But then, I'm an agrreable bloke!

    I have rarely taken sick days in my 102 years at work. When I had my fourth heart attack, I took it in my lunch break, and had my legs amputated on a Bank Holiday, just so that I didn't inconvenience anyone.
  14. What you get paid to surf arrse all day? I want your job!!
  15. The other day while I was violently fisting a rabbit the wife walked in and caught me at it, instead of going mental she grasped my throbbing member and tugged me off to completion. Is what she did classed as pulling a sickie?
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