Pull up a sandbag.................

Discussion in 'RAC' started by tankie88, Mar 14, 2006.

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  1. I can remember being on Range 5 Bergen-Hohne in the 80's as advance party.As normal being a member of 9TP C Sqn 3RTR we were always in the brown stuff.The range had a large german army crapper.One cubical for officers (with door) and 8 cubicals for OR's (without).A certain Tpr Cooper decided to go for a "shovel recce" to the afor mentioned building.Using the Officers cubicle.While he was doing the obvious with the door shut,we entered the OR's side.Silently closing all the lids in the crappers,except one.Where we threw a orange smoke pot into the crapper(which was ignited of course) and closed the lid.The only opening for the smoke to escape was the hole that Tpr Cooper was sat on.Which didn't escape until he rose from his doings.All u heard was a muffled "Huh"...the door burst open..out came Cooper with a orange smoke trail following ans a orange stain around the part af his anatomy that was blocking the hole at the time.The toilet was not far from the main range road and on this road was a broken down Leo1 of the Bundeswehr,with crew on the back decks waiting for their version of the nutstranglers to turn up.They were curled up with laughter as we were. Well that was another exciting day in the defence of the west...lmao. :lol:
  2. Peds and his lost beret. It fell in the said "Thunder Box". He the went in and retrieved it. The smell of the man will live with me forever, Capbadge Loyalty!!!!!!!!
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  3. Ahhhh the joys of a Hohne Range bog. Some of the finest graffiti known to man. I can't remember which range it was in but one of the crappers had a big arrow pointing into the filth with the caption 'British Army Equipment Exhibition'.
  4. The very bogs where an extremely junior Harrier pilot manager to drop his Walther down the crapper - apparently was practising his quick draw. He came into our tent and said 'Chief, I've dropped my pistol down the toilet can you get 1 of your lads to get it out and clean it for me?' to which my chief replied 'Sir, you can fcuk right off. If you manage to get it out yourself I'm sure 1 of our Armourers can do something with it for a small fee'.

    Hour later crate of lager and smelly PPK turn up. Oh how we laughed that night!!
  5. Trawling through the site and found this thread.
    It reminded me of an incident from many moons ago, in the seventies, troop training on Soltau. Squadron Leager area established and a large hole dug some distance from the lines; over the hole went one thunderbox, (WITH A PROPER SEAT), to be enjoyed by all ranks, ( supply your own Andrex). All went well for, a couple of days, until a senior full screw not far off getting his third stripe, felt the urge.
    Off he went, armed with reading material and the nicest of german loo roll, undid his denim one piece, pulled down his drawers, and sat to read a very interesting article in Mayfair.
    Suddenly he heard the very familiar sound of a Leyland engine going up and down the box; the noise was quite some distance away, but appeared to be getting nearer and nearer.
    Our lad on the box started to get a bit twitchy, and peered his head over the tarpaulin surround, only to be confronted by the sight of a large tracked monster heading his way.
    If wiping your bum and hoiking up your denims was an olympic event he would have won gold. The tank kept on trundling and ran right over the thunder box as if it wasn't there.
    It was established that another mob was in the area and they were the culprits, but much to his credit, their Squadron Leader arranged for a new thunder box for us and a bottle of Irelands finest for our very shaken Corporal.
  6. Multiple thunderbox arrangement in Mukeiras,Aden,where peace was shattered during reading hour - 'Anyone finished with beano?'-when thunderflash was dropped down unoccupied stall.
  7. C Sqn 1 RTR Soltau 1990ish -SHQ and fitters leagered up around a blue turdis when Sqn 2 ic could nt wait any longer and went for a dump.

    However not being a stupid man and more importantly not trusting the reccy-mech an inch he kept the door wedged open with his foot and kept his eyes on us fitters on top of the Cent.

    Eagle eyed he may have been but he did nt notice the VM Cpl slide off the back of the Cent and monkey run behind the vehicles to a fire position behind the turdis.

    Up popped our ninja to lob a thunderflash down the shit-sucking tube on the roof.

    Laugh- I nearly shit myself, the 2ic heard the hiss and launched himself like a belt-fed wombat out the door just as it exploded. There was shit spattered right up his back and the back of the turdis was split. We had to bug out and relocate before the range wardens discovered our crime - but it was worth it.
  8. Similar but continuing T88's saga. C Sqn 3RTR Hohne 'Donnerkisten' -
    1. Prep cubicles by closing all rubber flaps.
    2. 'Round back' prep 2 thunderflashes - wedging them onto Chieftain track pins.
    3. Wait for unsuspecting shmuck to enter and perch.
    4. Quickly ignite Thunderflashes and lope - (more quickly) to next 2 cubicles to shmuck.
    5. Lift lids, drop pyros (hearing satisfying sucking sound as they sink in.
    6. Retreat - even more feckin quickly.
    7. Screams of dismay broken off by 2 large crumps.
    8. Sqn runs in to see shmuck with multishade brown lunar landscape shape of crapper hole, hanging from his bewtocks!!!
    9. Squadron laughing like fecking drains!!!!