• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Pubs and Bars

Is it OK

  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • She's got a pulse hasn't she.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#1
The other night my boredom level hit an all time high. I thought about a bit of stress relief, but the old chap is a bit sore at the moment. So I decided to go and explore the delights of town.

After going to a couple of bars and enjoying a few pints I decided to head home. On the way I passed a bar that I hadn't been in before. Oh well one for the road, went in and ordered my drink. I was served by a pretty young lady with all the bits in all the right places.

I was sat there taking in the sights, totty spotting, and enjoying my beer. Time for another one.

I turned to the bar to order and was confronted by a creature from hell. Long ginger hair, and by God do I mean ginger. A major acne problem, slightly buck teeth and she was built like an anorexic racing snake. She even had the audacity to wear a bra. FFS I have got bigger tits. She made Karen Carpenter look like Bella Emberg.

Now my question is, should it be compulsory for Pubs and Bars to only employ good looking women, or is it ok to employ the love child of Plug and a Swan Vesta?

Your thoughts?
 
#2
Nothing wrong with the odd ugly barmaid think of the ugly squaddie who has no money for pinkies! the ugly barmaid s were invented for such people! and if they were all stunners you would never get served as every tom dick and harry would be ogling them thus slowing down the delivery of the next beer! think laterally!
 
#3
A few more schooners and they will be alright mate. Saves you going home alone. Just stick with it mate. Blues need loving too. LOL... I mean gingers
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#4
coolcee said:
Nothing wrong with the odd ugly barmaid think of the ugly squaddie who has no money for pinkies! the ugly barmaid s were invented for such people! and if they were all stunners you would never get served as every tom dick and harry would be ogling them thus slowing down the delivery of the next beer! think laterally!
That's why they have a thing called Cha Cha's.
 
#5
B_AND_T said:
coolcee said:
Nothing wrong with the odd ugly barmaid think of the ugly squaddie who has no money for pinkies! the ugly barmaid s were invented for such people! and if they were all stunners you would never get served as every tom dick and harry would be ogling them thus slowing down the delivery of the next beer! think laterally!
That's why they have a thing called Cha Cha's.
The Fally school of dancing. That place has it's fair share of munters and thats just the wives.
 
#6
coolcee said:
Nothing wrong with the odd ugly barmaid think of the ugly squaddie who has no money for pinkies! the ugly barmaid s were invented for such people! and if they were all stunners you would never get served as every tom dick and harry would be ogling them thus slowing down the delivery of the next beer! think laterally!
Very, very good point! Thinking outside the box!
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#7
vandyke said:
B_AND_T said:
coolcee said:
Nothing wrong with the odd ugly barmaid think of the ugly squaddie who has no money for pinkies! the ugly barmaid s were invented for such people! and if they were all stunners you would never get served as every tom dick and harry would be ogling them thus slowing down the delivery of the next beer! think laterally!
That's why they have a thing called Cha Cha's.
The Fally school of dancing. That place has it's fair share of munters and thats just the wives.
But the point is, if I want to go and admire 45 stone of pure rippling sex than that is my choice. Is it right that it forced upon me. Think along the lines of the smoking ban.
 
#9
B_AND_T said:
vandyke said:
B_AND_T said:
coolcee said:
Nothing wrong with the odd ugly barmaid think of the ugly squaddie who has no money for pinkies! the ugly barmaid s were invented for such people! and if they were all stunners you would never get served as every tom dick and harry would be ogling them thus slowing down the delivery of the next beer! think laterally!
That's why they have a thing called Cha Cha's.
The Fally school of dancing. That place has it's fair share of munters and thats just the wives.
But the point is, if I want to go and admire 45 stone of pure rippling sex than that is my choice. Is it right that it forced upon me. Think along the lines of the smoking ban.
God invented beer so ugly birds can get screwwwwwwed. 8)
 
#12
As a former participant in Aldershot Grot nights, ( winner is the one who pulls the ugliest bird) I endorse the message that if it has a pulse ....

I also was the winner of a grot night once :D :D :D :D

The WRAC who pulled me won a bottle of champagne from her mates :cry:
 
#13
Don't get all arrogant B&T, the average soldier isn't much to look at either. It's what inside that count's.

Inside her rear end, that is.


So: Just bend her over and give her one for Queen and Country. It's your duty as a man! :twisted:

Edited to add that if you bend her over and service the lass from the 6 o' clock position, the ugly mug won't matter so much. Her bum will seem bigger too!
 
#15
looney said:
Nothing wrong with Gingers.
Or anorexic.
Yes there is! I got to shag a skinny gwar model once. I was all too happy, going "Yeah! I'm fcuking a model! Owaaaahhhr!"

But the bint was bloody skinny and the next day I had weird bruises on my loins... :oops:

Still. I DID shag a model...
 
#17
Kaye said:
looney said:
Nothing wrong with Gingers.
Or anorexic.
Yes there is! I got to shag a skinny gwar model once. I was all too happy, going "Yeah! I'm fcuking a model! Owaaaahhhr!"

But the bint was bloody skinny and the next day I had weird bruises on my loins... :oops:

Still. I DID shag a model...
Yes...but anorexia is so last year!
 
#19
Kaye said:
looney said:
Nothing wrong with Gingers.
Or anorexic.
Yes there is! I got to shag a skinny gwar model once. I was all too happy, going "Yeah! I'm fcuking a model! Owaaaahhhr!"

But the bint was bloody skinny and the next day I had weird bruises on my loins... :oops:

Still. I DID shag a model...

WTF did she model? ashtrays, dog towels, nappies, biscuit tins??

see where i'm going with this?
 

Latest Threads