Public urination and breaking the seal

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by haggler, Jul 11, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I just heard a debate on public urination on talksport and wondered what your views were on the matter.

    I go with the argument that once the seal has been broken, most men need a wee wee about every 25 minutes.

    As all the public loos are either closed or frequented by cottagers nothing else you can do but let it flow.

    Anyone that plays golf and has not done one in the bushes is either a liar or has a bladder of iron.

    I draw the line at the walnut whips you find down some alleyways of a weekend however.

    Once saw one topped with a kebab wrapper.

    What about women squatting in the gutter ? is that o.k ?

  2. No, I much prefer it on my cock!
    • Like Like x 2
  3. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    as long as you're reasonably discreet, aye. everyones had to do it at some point or other, or if not you're lying.

    what I do find a little distasteful are people (men or women) openly going anywhere they like on the high st/main road or what have you of an evening.
  4. When you got to go you got to go
    • Like Like x 1
  5. If you live on the route home from the pub, and it's the same people chucking up or pissing nearby your house then it gets a bit tedious. Where I live the tendency of the scum is to not notice all manner of filth around the place, but then go, "Eurgh! that's disgusting" whenever someone cleans it up! Sloshing buckets of soapy water around brings more objections than the piss and vomit! Following people home and then pissing on their doorstep is reasonably ok, but you shouldn't have too. Besides, I manage to hold a large capacity and not pee every 25 minutes so why can't other people? Too soft, that's the trouble.

    The way I see it is that those people who know they have a tiny capacity and always have to pee on their way home should be obliged to carry a piss can. Something like a petrol can, but with a large enough opening to take a penis. (Smaller girthed blokes could use an adapter if the opening is too big.) Then people could take their piss home to dispose of properly. Those people who want to take the piss out of anyone else could do so if they wanted to, that's up to them. A handy piss can would be useful at other times too, such as when driving or being stuck in traffic...
  6. Have you never heard of Billy Conolly`s incontinence pants? Look it up.
    • Like Like x 2

  7. when in hiding, keeping a low profile. In an OP for example or refusing to get out of your arctic doss bag when chilly outside. Surprised no-one's thought of it before really!
  8. I often piss in the bushes, but empty my arrse in the hole.
  9. This is Arrse, some of us are ex serving and some are still in. Pop bottle. Biffy Bag. Bog roll. Dog bins. Might not be clever for that job interview or when you're on a promise.
  10. If we weren't so prudish over here we could have those street toilets like they do in Holland, bit better than every town centre alleyway stinking of piss
  11. 25 mins eh? Not just me then.

    Women squatting in the gutter? Whats not to like?
    • Like Like x 1
  12. i simply go before i leave, its not hard is it
  13. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    My first drunken bird eye opener aged 18 and some pissed tart in a jump suit trying to slash behind the earth berm in the front of Macrory Park on the Whiterock road when the whole multiple piled into camp!

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9780 using Tapatalk
  14. I live in an apartment block near the center of my large town - on the top (7th) floor. Occasionally we get groups of kids mucking around outside, usually not a problem (better than playing PS3 I suppose, although I also partake) but anticipating any stupidity I have a supersoaker filled and ready as a deterent.
    I often sit out on the balcony of an early morning to have a final nightcap and watch the drunks staggering home - anyone stupid enough to lag on our building is treated to a quick squirt as a deterent to further public pissing (and the sound of me giggling as I hide out of sight above).
    • Like Like x 3
  15. Supersoaker filled with piss?
    • Like Like x 1