Public nudity

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by stoatman, Jan 3, 2006.

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  1. Why is it always gipping people who like to get naked in public? Walking across a nudist beach, it's never the bronzed, slender, neatly-shorn 18-year-old nubile female beauties lying there on the sand topping up their tans, but gopping fat middle-aged women with their ample giblets hanging out and their minges joining up neatly with their armpit hair, and equally fat middle-aged men with weathered and shrivelled tackle that looks like some oversized grolly hanging down from the ceiling in a horror movie looking equally gopping for the "benefit" of the ladies.

    On the other hand, public nudity after a few pints can be extremely amusing, if done in an imaginative way -- the well-timed streak, the nude bar, curling one out for effect, leaving a paralytic bezzer without clothes, the amusing and classic cöck-in-mouth-of-sleeping-bloke photograph, 3 Para mortars, or a Booty daisy-chain on the front page of a national newspaper. Unfortunately, this usually involves blokes. Whilst comedy is an end in itself, it would be much more pleasurable to watch attractive females carrying out the same acts, for obvious reasons.

    So why is it that the attractive women are embarrassed, thinking that they have something to hide, whereas the hippocrocagorillapigs are quite happy to bare all for Britain? Surely it should be the other way around! And why is it us blokes who end up involuntarily undressing and running around bollocky after one too many sherries at Christmas whilst the girls just trip over on their improbable stilettos, vomit in the toilet, and cry?
     
  2. It's gonna cost you to see those. They know what their market value is.
     
  3. And that's the problem -- I can always see it in two dimensions on my computer screen, having downloaded ample amounts of spy ware and having given my credit card details to at least 60 Nigerians. It's not the same as being ocularly accosted by a pert and cheeky pair topping off some neat hospital corners whilst walking down the beach.
     
  4. When you find out the answer can you let me no...
     

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  5. Stoaty, intelligence indiactes that the Scheveningen beach was pretty much worth a visit last summer...plenty of well shaped female "billen en borst" to be seen...even a nice "Kutje" if you know which part of the beach to visit. In fact my current employers arranged a work outing to the beach for the good of staff morale.
     
  6. christ... it looks like two of them aren't wearing bikini bottoms

    (boik..! hurl)
     
  7. Kijkduin was absolutely gopping. I would much rather have watched a load of Paras subtly lagging on each other's legs while standing naked in buckets of urine-flavoured custard than any of the "oude wijfjes" that Kijkduin had to offer the bekijkers... at least the Paras would have been funny, the real offerings were just tragic.
     
  8. For some decent public nudity checkout Boscombe beach in Bournemouth during the summer.
    There’s plenty of 18-25yr old meat topless sunbathing there and all of grade A quality :D there’s also plenty 20stone beached whales with their udders out but we don’t like to talk about that :?
     
  9. That's true, now that you mention it. I saw quite a few perky t!ts on display while strolling on the Boscome promenade. And an evenly spaced line of pervs with field glasses on the cliffs above them, so they must have concurred.

    Mine were not out with them, as I am afraid that if I sunned myself nekkid, Greenpeace would show up and try to roll me back in.
     
  10. Just don't go to the nude portions of the beach Stoaty, plenty of totty titties exposed on the open beach area, at least between Scheveningen harbour and Kijkduin. Not much in the way of bald coots I give you that but at least young and firm jubblies :p
     
  11. Really? You told me you hadn't noticed!! :lol: :wink:
     
  12. Next to your jubblies, Potential, the bristols he is referring to would be completely unnoticeable!
     
  13. D'oh! :lol:
     
  14. You're such a flatterer!! :wink: