ptsd - mine or his?!

can anyone giv me advice on how to best help my husband of 14years? after serving in NI and having been to Iraq, he is finding life a struggle.
he has been to drs who has referred him 4 therapy but god knows how long that will take! have looked into going private and found a sound chap, but my man tells me he feels like he is being backed into a corner.
I am so willimg to understand why he is behaving like this ( irritable, brinking, working flat out, emotionally numb) but its hard not to feel like his pushing us away. He wants to move out to give him time to 'get sorted' but every bone in my body thinks this is a bad move. Does he need this space, or do you think his avoiding the problem? i would love to hear from anyone who has been through this, and what was the best thing people could do to help you? I love him to bits and want to do whats right, but not sure what that is yet?! Will his emotions return as he gets better, and will he be able to reach a point to ask for help by himself?
I realise its a long journey, and a hard one, but i'm determined to keep our family together whatever it takes.Is there light at the end of that long tunnel?
many thanks guys, i'm finding this one hard.

mardy cow!!
You are right - it is a hard road, but yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

You don't say whether your husband is still serving or not - this will make a difference to the sources of help.
Hi there, sorry i should've said he is no longer serving, and i know its gonna be hard work for all of us, i guess i just need someone to tell me this is normal for someone with ptsd to be like this at the moment!!
thanks for your replies, it gives me a direction!
mardy cow.
I do hope Mardy is not being offered 'advice and comfort' by persons unqualified to do so in any regard via PM's.
thanks to you all for replying. Have been in contact with these agencies, now have to get him to seek the help, if you know what i mean!!!
i guess i'm after knowing how others have coped, and whether space is something thats needed at the time - or is that a slippery slope? i realise everyone is different and copes in their own way, but i'm looking for ways to make things easier on the journey, maybe there arent answers or a big enough plaster to fix it, but i'd kick myself if i didnt try hard enough!

thanks guys, forums like this are helping alot of people.

mardy cow
Having been in his position he is lucky that you recognise his need. Mrs 1gm did and helped me so much. There is light at the end but it did take a long time, nearly 2 years for me, but now I can recognise when the problems arise and we are able to work it out together. Good luck and I pray that it goes well for both of you.

Deleted 20555

Sounds a bit like me when I woke up and suddenly found out I was 44 - how in hell did that happen???
Combat Stress might be able to help. Not only does help those of us with the mental damage but it also has a spouses/partners group. Ask them to consider your other half, the least they will do is send someone round for a talk/case history.

My other half thought I was another person after I came back. She jokingly demanded a DNA test to prove it was still me.

I hope things work out for you.
Yes, call the Combat Stress Welfare Department on 01372 841680 or go to their website As Mikal has already mentioned, you can have a chat with the Welfare Department who will advice you on how best to get help for your husband and they also provide a wife/spouse advice group which may be of use.

Good luck.
Not big secret to the ones that know me but i suffered a form of PTSD after a serious accident in Kenya, a few years ago where i suffered a severe head injury. Was serving (still am) and was treated by a Brig Doctor at CMH Aldershot.
I had symptoms of rapid mood swings, hitting things and self blame for the accident (wasnt my fault but friends died).
Luckily it was my mates that told the med staff that i should be looked at, and contrary to todays treatment of soldiers i was looked after really well by the military. A number of sessions with the Brig and i was fine. I still get touchy sometimes but thats usually with the wife (all though a lot of husbands are probably thinking thats normal!! :) ) I found that i wanted to tell everyone about the accident and in a way thats what the Brig said i should do. Maybe your husband might want to relate any experience he has suffered in the past but cannot for some reason?
Top book available, easily sourced through your MO, WHSmiths etc:

Understanding your reactions to trauma by Dr. Claudia Herbert. ISBN: 1-904127-02-9.

Sound reading for sufferes and families, will guide and enlighten.

Check also the US PTSD Site and UK NICE for additional information. It is a shame that the NHS is still a little behind on this, so pre warned is pre-armed.

Mardy, I have a fantastic contact should you want an informal discussion, PM me and I will link you up with the UK's best. (No charge).
many thanks to those of you who have replied, have explored several avenues and hopefully he has an assesment next week, has any one any info on resources on how to explain to kids etc, or advice on what i need to do to help him? ( do i give him space / be around when he wants/ carry on as normal- whatever normal is!!) lots of factual support on the net but nothing that helps you live with it on a day to day basis. Combat stress sent some helpful info, only their support group is for partners who have attended their services.Anyone know of other groups like this? rear party have been helpful, and suggested somebody on here might have additonal info.

Similar threads