PTP is also looking for stumpy chicks .......

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by FluffyBunny, Aug 30, 2006.

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  1. but is too scared to ask them himself.

    Frankly this is typical of him, he talks the talk but then turns all shy & blushing at the last moment. Wuss.

    You know the drill girls.

    Please send pictures, leg measurements, hair colour samples etc to the usual location via PM to PTP.

    However, this time he has set a few rules:

    1. No SCH
    2. Must be good looking.
    3. If very short, must be very good looking.
    4. Any GWARs must be very, very, very good looking. Or have large breasts. Or both.

    Over to you, ladies.
  2. Hahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahhaa

    It was the Matelot's idea not mine! How can you doubt me, already one female has told him she won't wear stillettos and call him worm and actually used the words "Filthy matelot"

    Modesty of course , precludes me from naming the female involved, and I feel that blurting out the name would be a boo-boo on my part.

    If I can just emphasise it is not for me, but those ground rules look pretty acceptable to most Male arrsers :D
  3. PTP,

    Such slander is not acceptable on this website. I trust the CO's will see fit to force you into making a written apology to me.

    Any stumpy girls who are considering PM'ing PTP are to ensure they PM me as well....ahem :D
  4. Is PTP looking for Auld_Sapper's dog in some kind of costume? Must really not have had any luck with leggy females...

    PS Does 5 ft 6 count as stumpy?
  5. Filthy is possibly a little strong after all, he may just be dirty after doing a hard days work and studying. A working student you know, few & far between.

    Are we talking stumpy with stillettos or without? We need guidelines here lads or you're sure to be disappointed.
  6. Borderline Leggy babe.........

    Might I suggest you PM the Matelot, for his arbitration? :D
  7. I would just like to state that Booboo's profile pic is actually a negative of her arrse.

    I've tasted it and it's the future..... (wakes up from dream)
  8. Stumpy without stillettos, Leggy beauty with Booboo. Is that guideline enough?

    And Matelot wants to know if you need any kit ironing, or some GD's you want sorting :D
  9. J_D

    J_D LE

    So 5'3 in a pair of flat Jimmy Choos, legs up to her ears, blonde with the occasional brown routes showing. Club foot, nervous twitch and cross eye'd, that ok with you PTP?
  10. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh it's not for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  11. J_D

    J_D LE

    You sure, a few 'special brews' and a bad kebab, might want to?

    Even umper lumpers need some loving PTP!
  12. Well if you dont want them PTP, theres always room at Chez Sandy for petite hotties.
    I actually like small women, theres probably some deeply Freudian rationale for it, but as long as theres no suggestion that I want to sleep with my mother, I coudn't care less.
    So if you're a titchy temptress, of any flavour, (blonde, brunette or redhead) send your pics my way.
  13. Now come on PTP. The idea of a wild night of romance with The Matelot is hardly likely to get the hearts of the fine PORGs of ARRSE beating faster, is it?

    Not unless they are male PORGs anyway.

    Look upon yourself as the bait. The worm, in fact, to lure the midget ladies of ARRSE in the general direction of The Matelot and Sandman.

    What a selfless and noble act you perform. Have a house point and 2 gold stars.

    [whisper mode ON] don't worry girls, it's for PTP really ;-) [whisper mode OFF]
  14. You're quite right of course Fluffy. Anything else would be very 2nd XI :)

    She would have to be exceptionally cute and feisty, bright and intelligent though, after all, I'm sure Arrse males , being the very arbiters of taste and decoroum would demand nothing less ;)

    So if your cute, feisty , intelligent , fit , don't have your head up your 3rd point of contact and are not a SCH this is your thread ladies. :D
  15. Was the Leggy list not up to standard PTP!!