Pruritus Ani

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by pensionpointer, Feb 26, 2013.

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  1. Whilst this thread does not, necessarily deserve consignment at this stage in its life to "the hole", the synchronicity was too fortuitous to resist.

    Pruritus Ani - itchy arsehole. This is a condition particularly prevalent in males 40-60. Now I have a theory that this is an evolutionary throwback to the time when Alpha males would need to mark their territory. An itchy arse would encourage its rubbing on rough bark and low branches, thereby alleviating the itch and also marking the male's territory. I am sure most will agree, that the heady scent of pheremonal sweaty arse is one that is distinctive and that will repulse other males, whilst, perhaps subconsciously, cause wandering females to turn into rampant, on-heat, nympho bitches. Clearly this latter effect is negated by marriage or close habitation.

    Anyway, that's my theory, so next time you're having a good knuckle deep probe to aleviate that itch that just can't be sated, don't forget to wipe your finger on the front door to keep away hawkers, adulterers and other ne'er-do-wells. You might also like to try wiping it on the other half's pillow and see what subconscious effect it has.


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  2. Or just shower regularly, wipe yourself properly and wash your hands? Just thinking out loud like.
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  3. Nope, doesn't change a thing, you can keep your ring squeaky clean, wet wipe, moisturise etc but its the itch that keeps on itching. You are clearly too young but judging by your handle, it's just around the corner...enjoy!


  4. 53 and climbing. Despite all that still itchy? Skin reaction to your "cleansing" routine or some sort of infection or even infestation internal or external.
  5. Don't recall stating that I was a victim, it's not's a mate!

    But no, medication and creams, worming tablets etc have absolutely no effect (apparently!). Doctor says it is just one of those things common in men of a certain age. Something one just lives with I (I mean he!) guess(es).


  6. MMM...

    your "friend" may try here:
    The last time I saw this the person actually had a mild sphincter leak that caused the problem (and no wasn't me either) however they had been doing things that had "stretched" the sphincter shall we say.
  7. No itching here either.

    Try pressing a bit of black nasty tape against your... er, his sphincter. Close inspection will reveal the eggs of the worms that are causing the itching: Threadworms to be exact.
  8. Much more likely to be Farmer Giles than "silver-back".
  9. He says it's not worms. Is the hairdryer before, after or whilst black nasty in place?! No leakage (he says) anyway this wasn't a self-help forum, more an abstract on evolutionary traits!

    I, I mean, "he" doesn't have an anal problem, well not much of one anyway.


  10. From the above link: Skin irritation. The skin of the bottom is sensitive and can easily be irritated by moist wipes, soaps, perfumes, antiseptics (for example, Dettol). These make the skin sore and itchy and contribute to pruritus ani.

    Dettol on the ringpiece, no fucking chance that I'd come up with that idea...
  11. Did " your friend " happen to spend a significant chunk of his life in a hole in a field - cold, soaking wet and constipated for days by any chance ?

    If so - I think I know what ails his bottom.
  12. Well he did do a fair bit of that and getting sweaty and sore in jungles, lots of tabbing with unfeasably large bergans ya de ya de ya. However, he appears to be grape free (or so he tells me!).


  13. How appropriate this is in the Arse Hole. Try wipes with aloe vera in them, sensitive face cleaning ones.