Proverbs really p!ss me off.

As do the clowns that constantly use them to offer pearls of wisdom.

"You can't have your cake and eat it" Really? So WTF is cake for then? If it's not for eating?

"People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" So it's alright to lob some rocks about your home if you live in a two up two down brick built semi is it?

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" Anyone tell this gem to the RSPB or Bill fcuking Oddie?

So, which ones p!ss you off? Or which ones do you think are relevent? or better still who's got some new ones that actually mean something?
"Everything comes to those who wait"

What a load of twaddle, you have to go out there and grab it by the throat!
"A friend in need is a friend indeed" Fcuk off if he's in need he's a fcuking scrounger. If your in need he's there to gloat.
'A friend in need is a friend indeed' - Bollox. He's a scrounging cnut and should buy his own pint!

EDIT: Beaten to it by the post above.


I find the difference between proverbs and idioms a bit confusing but they dont annoy me, infact they warm my cockles. :wink:
My favourties:

Parrot fashion
More than you can shake a stick at
...mad as a badger


War Hero
"The early bird catches the worm" (I often reply, the second mouse get's the cheese)

"Early to be, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" - Just coz it rhymes doesn't make it true.
when im trying to find something, it really grates my choad when people say 'its always the last place you look'. Who the fcuk carries on looking for something after they have found it?
Some proverbs just need a qualifier.

"Do unto others as they would do unto you" needs extending with "but do it first and harder."
There are some accurate ones - 'better out than in', for example. Or 'shit happens'.


The magic eight ball is a bit like a proveb personified, there annoying but meh. Im going to make burgers now.
Man who goes to bed with itchy arse wakes up with smelly finger?

And of course he who laugh lasts laughs longest - bollox. Just shows he hasn't moved on and is still pissed.

as a straight man my favourite is "its better to give than to recieve"! :lol:

along with "youth is wasted on the young". :cry:
Bent as a bottle of crisps
Arrse like a belt fed wombat (what is a belt fed wombat)
Never eat yellow snow (why would you eat any snow?)
daft as a brush?(eh?)


Book Reviewer
"The meek shall inherit the earth". Just as soon as the rest of us are finished with it.

"A watched kettle never boils". Really?

"Softly softly catchee monkey". Ever heard of firearms have you?

"Look before you leap". Well thank you Captain fucking Obvious.

Ones I like...

From Africa, "Walk softly but carry a big stick"

And from Jack Nicholson as The Joker in Batman "Never pull another mans rhubarb"

And "Diplomacy is the soft words you use with a mad dog until you can find a stick big enough to kill it with"
My favourite proverb is:

Walting fcukers should be burnt at the stake along with chav's and people who dont support HMF.
If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.
"Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision."

Mohammad Ali, 1967

"Muuuehhh guuuu hhhuuuugghh uuuhh ghhhuuuuhhhh huuhhh"

Mohammad Ali, 2008
As fat as a butcher's dog Very fat. A butcher's dog would be expected to be very well - too well - fed from scraps. But also see 'As fit as a butcher's dog'!

As fit as a butcher's dog Very fit. But also see 'As fat as a butcher's dog'!

Can't have both.

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