Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by notmesir, Jul 4, 2004.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Can someone please explain the correct protocol when two-waying a bird? Myself, a mate and a young horrorcrockopig set to the other week and had a bit of a laugh - you know, high fives, face pulling (try and put them off their stroke) plus the odd kidney punch and bit of arrse slapping so she didn't feel left out. However, the girl let slip the other night down the club that she is after a bit of dp and to be honest i'm not too keen on the chance of accidental c*ck on c*ck I a prude?
  2. Sounds like you're after some boy on boy action. Tell the truth. You can now, you won't get sacked. Your mates will think you're a pooftah but then again the truth can never hurt!!!
  3. lol, 'fraid not so there's no point in sending me that PM, asking me out, which is just waiting on my answer....... :twisted:
  4. A spit roast is a clever deed and should be encouraged, the more degrading to the trout the better. :D

    The dangers of the DP are twofold

    You could end up touching sacks with your pal, resulting in loss of wood. The second is more sinister. If your fellow pal isn't careful and spills his wad you could end up with it on your leg and sack, then you'll have to knock fcuk out of him

    My advice is simple, stick to seperate ends, if she wants a DP force yer fist up her arse :D
  5. My point exactly, and it is hard to maintain any dignity punching a naked mate, whilst naked yourself, over the shoulder of some dirty slapper.
  6. If you can maintain wood while watching your oppo turning Japanese, it suggests you have repressed buffty tendencies. Even if you do avoid the dreaded ball to ball rub, you will still feel mateys shaft sliding back and forth through the wall twixt arrse and snatch. Are you really sure you want to do this? :roll:
  7. Lets not get confused here chaps

    Spitroasting a trollop doesn't make you a snapper. If the analogy was compared to watching porn then would that make you a snapper also if you saw a bird smoking a big pink cigar?

    I have a couple of spit roasts to my credit and both were highly amusing and memorable occasions, and at no point did I consider blowing my pal
  8. msr

    msr LE

    For you or for her?

  9. Her I suppose, I was a pathetic drunken giggling mess on both occasions.

    She was a bag of spanners from walsall so I guess it doesn't matter.

    The other was a big black hooker in Amsterdam........... I can remember her claypit winking at me, and getting thrown out for jamming my thumb in it :D
  10. Untested suggestions: Gentleman number one lays flat and the lady sits on top of him, leaving you to high-end from behind to create minimum risk of contact or him losing it over you. Alternatively, stay at opposite ends and whoever is at the back uses a vibe as well....
  11. all well and good, but how about following through to give an extra special lift to the event? :twisted: :twisted:
  12. If she absolutely insists on the DP action, just try to make sure your the one doing the stink, and by virtue are above your mate. His sacks hanging south mean you have the opportunity to get some height and stay away from the ball on ball action. Also, he's more unlikely to spill his wad on you, and if you do lose control and spill over his sacks and legs, just make sure your harder than him.

    You may notice i give no consideration for the trout in all this. Thats because she deserves none - any lass whos prepared to let a couple of squaddies DP her doesnt have a place in decent society. As for the lads, well done, keep it up!!!
  13. LOL There's always one who tries to lower the tone.......................

    Or is lower the right word? 8O
  14. well, i do try to lower a tone everywhere i go :D
    i always thought dp was two up the same hole :?
    maybe thats where i went wrong in the past.
    anyway, be sure to follow through and rub in for medicinal purposes :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
  15. might as well make the night complete by skiffing the bitch as well :twisted: :twisted:
    act like a slagggggggggggggggggggggggggg get treated like one.

    btw any chance of a twosup? :twisted: :twisted: