Discussion in 'Sick Jokes' started by phil245, Mar 11, 2012.

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  1. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    I used to visit prostitutes every week, but now I'm a rapist instead.

    Credit crunch and all that.
    • Like Like x 1

  2. Cunt!
    • Like Like x 1

  3. It's not a very good one but it's a fkn joke. Lighten up ffs.

  4. I am lightened!:clown:

    It might be a joke & not a very good one, as you say!

    But what sort of weird mind, thinks thats funny?

    I suspect the op might be talking from experience or wishful imagination. Either way or not, if he sliced his bollocks off with a machette....that would be funnier!:applaud:

    So I say again,

  5. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Dull Cunt!
    • Like Like x 4
  6. Preferred this one,

    There's a dyslexic Santa on the loose in Ipswich who keeps leaving prozzies under trees.
  7. That's funnier...
    • Like Like x 1
  8. I've done this one before..ah well.

    There was an Irish prostitute who worked out of Dublin. One day, she went back to visit her family's home in the countryside. Her father greeted her at the door. "Oh me darlin' daughter," he exclaimed. "Where have you been?" "Well dad," she replied "I've become a prostitute." "What!" he yelled, furious. "Away with you, I never want to see you again!" "But dad," she protested "I've made so much money. I bought you and mom a new car and a lovely flat in the city. I've done all this for you, won't you let me in?" "Wait a minute," her father said "What is it you said you are?" "A prostitute, dad." "Ah, thank fuck for that!" he exclaimed, "I thought you said Protestant!"
    • Like Like x 2
  9. I have in my possetion 200 irish euros, which are counterfeite.
    If i used them to pay off a prossie after a night of passion
    would it make me a rapist (again)
  10. SO then he asked her how business was.

    "Ah, sure Daddy, it's grand - if I had another pair of legs I'd open in Cork".
  11. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    No, it would make you a shoplifter.
  12. They invariably ask for the money before any action takes place.
  13. In your case, they pay you to go away.
  14. Wrong way round - you don't pay a hooker for sex, you actually pay her to fuck off afterwards.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Actually they give me the "Buy one, Get one free" Special Offer