Proof that the world id nuts

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Ting-Tong, Aug 13, 2004.

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  1. >In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the

    >animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is

    >punishable by death.

    >

    >(Like THAT makes sense.)

    >

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    >In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is

    >prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may

    >only see their reflection in a mirror.

    >

    >(Do they look different reversed?)

    >

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    >

    >Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also

    >applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with

    >a brick or piece of wood at all times.

    >

    >(A brick??)

    >

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    >The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

    >

    >(Much worse than "going blind!")

    >

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    >There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and

    >deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for

    >the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for

    >virgins to marry.

    >

    >(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world

    >that even comes close to this?)

    >

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    >In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous

    >husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on

    >the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

    >

    >(Ah! Justice!)

    >

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    >Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical

    >fish stores.

    >

    >(But of course!)

    >

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    >

    >In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the

    >first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

    >

    >(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

    >

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    >In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman

    >and her daughter at the same time.

    >

    >(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

    >

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    >In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one

    >exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in

    >places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

    >

    >(Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)

    >

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    >Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

    >

    >(Who volunteers for this stuff anyway?)

    >

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    >

    >Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

    >

    >(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

    >

    >

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    >The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

    >

    >(Hummm....I won't touch THAT one!)

    >

    >

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    >

    >The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight

    >and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

    >

    >(From drinking little bottles of...? -- did the govt. pay for this

    >research??)

    >

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    >

    >Butterflies taste with their feet.

    >

    >(Ah, geez)

    >

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    >

    >An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

    >

    >(I know some people like that.)

    >

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    >

    >Starfish don't have brains.

    >

    >(I know some people like that too)

    >

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    >

    >And, the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts.

    >

    >(Do you suppose they might have bad breath?)