Produce-Armed Elderly Terrorist Assaults Lad

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Not_Whistlin_Dixie, Apr 28, 2007.

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  1. From the BBC:

    An 82-year-old man wielding a bag of shopping has driven an armed robber from a village post office.
    George Smith hit the man twice with a bag containing an iceberg lettuce and bottles of bleach and washing liquid.

    The masked raider, who had a shotgun, fled from the shop in Speldhurst, near Tunbridge Wells, Kent, leaving the takings untouched.

    "Man, 82, hits robber with lettuce" 27 April 2007
  2. Bl**dy Daily Mail readers in Kent, their a hazard even after retirement!
  3. Mr Angry from Tunbridge Wells strikes again.

    I expect the old boy will be charged with GBH in the very near future.
  4. I sincerely hope that the powers that be come down on this dangerous moron like a ton of shyte. There's enough deranged idiots marauding around as it is. Lettuce indeed. He's a threat to decent society and a possible license fee evader. Hang him!
  5. oooh, an armed robber with respect for the elderly?
  6. Will lettuces be banned from sale?
  7. This OAP, might have been on a real time combat training mission .... sponsered by the dept of works and pensions......." how to deal with the enemy"...viewing audience = HMS CORNWALL...bording parties!!!!!!
  8. Well done that man.
  9. Good effort.
  10. no but you'll need a class 1 FAC to buy one.
  11. <breathes sigh of relief>

  12. There will be an amnesty announced by the government.

    All legally held lettuce will be handed in to be destroyed,
    leaving all the illegally held lettuce used in crime still on the streets. And law abiding lettuce eaters lettuce free.

  13. Will modified courgettes still be available for purchase over the counter?

    The Tankie is an avid collector of vegetable weaponry, and we'd hate to lose our investment.
  14. I knew the description 'Rocket' was a giveaway to the lethal capabilities of the salad section, and as for 'Iceberg', well just look at what that fecker did to the Titanic...
  15. Made a clean job of it too - well done that man!

    Hope the profiteering Royal Mail see fit to honour this bloke for his intervention rather than the usual book of second class stamps and letter of thanks.