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Produce-Armed Elderly Terrorist Assaults Lad

#1
From the BBC:

An 82-year-old man wielding a bag of shopping has driven an armed robber from a village post office.
George Smith hit the man twice with a bag containing an iceberg lettuce and bottles of bleach and washing liquid.

The masked raider, who had a shotgun, fled from the shop in Speldhurst, near Tunbridge Wells, Kent, leaving the takings untouched.


"Man, 82, hits robber with lettuce" 27 April 2007
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/6601655.stm
 
#4
I sincerely hope that the powers that be come down on this dangerous moron like a ton of shyte. There's enough deranged idiots marauding around as it is. Lettuce indeed. He's a threat to decent society and a possible license fee evader. Hang him!
 
#7
This OAP, might have been on a real time combat training mission .... sponsered by the dept of works and pensions......." how to deal with the enemy"...viewing audience = HMS CORNWALL...bording parties!!!!!!
 
#12
mattygc said:
chocolate_frog said:
Will lettuces be banned from sale?
no but you'll need a class 1 FAC to buy one.

There will be an amnesty announced by the government.

All legally held lettuce will be handed in to be destroyed,
leaving all the illegally held lettuce used in crime still on the streets. And law abiding lettuce eaters lettuce free.


8O
 
#13
cuckingfunt said:
mattygc said:
chocolate_frog said:
Will lettuces be banned from sale?
no but you'll need a class 1 FAC to buy one.

There will be an amnesty announced by the government.

All legally held lettuce will be handed in to be destroyed,
leaving all the illegally held lettuce used in crime still on the streets. And law abiding lettuce eaters lettuce free.


8O
Will modified courgettes still be available for purchase over the counter?

The Tankie is an avid collector of vegetable weaponry, and we'd hate to lose our investment.
 
#14
I knew the description 'Rocket' was a giveaway to the lethal capabilities of the salad section, and as for 'Iceberg', well just look at what that fecker did to the Titanic...
 
#15
Not_Whistlin_Dixie said:
From the BBC:

An 82-year-old man wielding a bag of shopping has driven an armed robber from a village post office.
George Smith hit the man twice with a bag containing an iceberg lettuce and bottles of bleach and washing liquid.

The masked raider, who had a shotgun, fled from the shop in Speldhurst, near Tunbridge Wells, Kent, leaving the takings untouched.

"Man, 82, hits robber with lettuce" 27 April 2007
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/6601655.stm
Made a clean job of it too - well done that man!

Hope the profiteering Royal Mail see fit to honour this bloke for his intervention rather than the usual book of second class stamps and letter of thanks.
 
#16
Lettuce be thankful that the old fella had enough aim on him to hit the thug's swede... wouldn't be nice to have caught a 12-bore shot to the spuds. Good to hear that even though he did turnip, would-be robber beet it smartish on being faced down by an elderly gent with cojones...

Well done that man!
 
#17
The Speldhurst Wing of the Disgusteds of Tunbridge Wells are not fellas to trifle with. 8)

To anticipate the govt's predictable response, I have already applied for three additional lettuces on my FAC. :roll: Big ones, with lots of crunchy leaves . . .
 
#20
Someone said it earlier I know but now I am waiting for news that the elderly and gallant gentleman is to be charged with assault.

In Bliar's Britain all the cards are dealt to the criminals and OAPs should bloody well know this !!

Ignorantia juris nemo fit excusat.
 

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