Probed By Aliens

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Sep 20, 2012.

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  1. Rocketeer lay on the table, unable to move as Ying approached, a long black tentacle uncurling toward him

    Ying: " This not hurt...much."

    Yup, underwent a me thinking.... photo on the 'think you're funny' thread of the lass with the hose shoved up and the various threads griping about jobs/situation in life.

    How the hell does one end up doing things like this?
    Parents of Dr. Ying:
    What you want to be when you grow up?
    Little Ying: A Doctor!
    Parents smile with great pride: Cardiac Surgeon? Brain Surgeon?
    Little Ying: I want to shove tubes down people's throats and up their bums!

    What guy sits down with a career counsellor and says I want to work in shit.. I'm going to run a port-o-potty business and dump sewage all day!

    Did the parcel delivery guy really see himself fighting traffic and dumping boxes all day in his future when he was 9? The 10 year old girl plan to spritz passers by with cheap perfume at a cosmetic counter in a down market department store?

    World is full of crap jobs -- is anyone other than Warren Buffet or Prince Willy happy? Even Mitt Romney is having a shitty time of it.

    I know everyone grouses about their time in the military but, seems to me, there was more satisfaction there than elsewhere- no expectations of making millions, but knew not expected to be stuck there forever.

    Have any of you arrsers got a plum job you enjoy getting up to go to?
  2. Yup!! I love my job!
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  3. At the moment I'm being paid to read mindless crap on ARRSE. Can't grumble, really.
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  4. Snap! and I get plenty of overtime.

  5. someone once said " your next posting is always better than your present posting and your present posting is worse than your last posting" ... which could have been covered equally well by just saying... " the grass is always greener on the otherside"
  6. I wanted to be either an astronaut, a pharoah, or a U Boat kapitan. I was twenty years or so too late for that, several thousand years too late for the other, and the wrong nationality for bezzering with Buzz and co. Still, I'm still managing to draw a wage for reading ARRSE, so all's not lost.
  7. I've always been fortunate in doing some great jobs and even though they were hard to get specialist jobs when you do it day in and day out, its the little things that wind you up.
    Mind you not as much as the moany wankers that didn't realise what side their bread was buttered, that did piss me off.
    I've no regrets and would re run my career if I had a chance, it was a blast
  8. Would you still be a Monkey?

    I'm with you though, although a few extra quid would have helped at certain times. But here I am, in an office that's too hot and sweaty, it's late (but what else is there to do?) and when I get back in 5 months time, I'll have a couple of extra grand in the bank. And still time to browse Arrse. How good can life get?
  9. I quite like my job
    Furnaceman at Dukinfield Crematorium
  10. Never had a proper job....thinking of going into politics next.
  11. I wonder who puts their hand up to become a podiatrist or proctologist? Working with rancid tinea infested feet or prolapsed mudbuttons, sounds like a blast
  12. It'd have it's moments though, sliding things up fit birds arseholes, etc. And imagine the fun to be had sticking the arse camera down some cunt's throat if he's been a gobby prick.
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  13. I always wanted to be a gynaecologist, just to keep my hand in
  14. Be like me and freelance.
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  15. And we all think being a gyno involves sticking things up supermodels fragrant cloppers.

    The truth however, resembles pulling apart a toasted cheese sandwich.