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Private Eyes Square Basher

#1
I've just read the "Sandpit News" article by 'Square Basher' in the latest issue of Private Eye.

So, is 'Square Basher' a journalist that browses this website, or an actual serving soldier?

Anybody know, or perhaps 'Square Basher' will out himself?
 
#4
Any link? Or is this a surreal conversation?
 
#6
"Delighted British troops in Iraq cheered Tony Blair yesterday after he gave them the perfect Christmas present - news that they are going home." Oh how many of us choked on our tinned sausages when we read this in the Sun. After all, some of us had just returned from a two-week deployment in the dodgier bits of Basra and were less than "delighted" to swap a proper rest in our bashers for extra guard duty around the completely safe Divisional HQ watching the prime minister mugging to the cameras.

The only people who got close to him were part of a carefully selected mix of sycophants, gurning squaddies and "soldiers of colour", including a Fijian choir. Most of these had only been in Iraq for a few weeks.

Those of use who have been here on extended tours know full well that we'll only be going home when the Iraqis (or Iranians, if you're in the south) can provide their own security, not to mention a police force that is not in cahoots with the insurgents. And that's going to take years.

As for the perfect Christmas present, some decent kit would be good: we are still have to buy too much of our own gear on eBay. Oh and the arrival of our Operation Telic medals, delayed over and over again, would be a welcome seasonal gesture.

'Square Basher'
© Private Eye
 

Vasco

War Hero
#7
Sir_Sidney_Ruff_Diamond said:
Read it today seems like a journo after a quick trawl of arrse to me. But I could be wrong
I agree, stylewise - but I don't remember some of the detail from these august pages.
 
#8
As a hardened cynic who sat in the Sandpit on TELIC 1, eagerly awaiting the arrival of my subscription copy of Private Eye, I don't care who he is as long as the good stuff keeps coming. Who can remember the classic "Not ready for Action Man"; complete with mobile phone, non-working gun, melting boots and own supply of toilet roll?

I would say that MD is a doctor and Muckspreader could be a farmer, but do you think Dr B Ching is a train driver and what occupation would you suggest for Square Eyes and Remote Controller?

Is there anybody out there to dispute what was actually written?
 
#9
NOt at all don't get me wrong Private Eye is a fantastic publication I have been a subscriber for over 10 years and would stongly recommend it to anyone to help get a better persepective on how the media and government works
 
#10
I used to subscribe and even contributed to the fund for the damages over the Rippers wife. I still buy on occasion. I think it's still a good read, but it has gone a tad down hill
 
#11
Sir_Sidney_Ruff_Diamond said:
Read it today seems like a journo after a quick trawl of arrse to me. But I could be wrong
I suppose that he could be part of the Army's own PR/Press people (whatever they're known as?) Not that that is a bad thing &, however, good for the Eye to publish at all. I seem to remember other, albeit infrequent, articles by square basher?
 
#13
It could, this may sound strange to some, be possible that the writer is a STAB or other part timer given the joys of his own free MoD all expenses paid Holiday in sandland whose been less that impresssed by the antics of some of the RO's at Div HQ.....?

Just a thought
 
#14
smithie said:
"....After all, some of us had just returned from a two-week deployment in the dodgier bits of Basra and were less than "delighted" to swap a proper rest in our bashers for extra guard duty around the completely safe Divisional HQ watching the prime minister mugging to the cameras.

etc etc
'Square Basher'
© Private Eye
Blasted journalists - can't even spell basha correctly!

Litotes
 
#16
Litotes said:
Blasted journalists - can't even spell basha correctly!

Litotes
I thought that when I was typing it up; I suspect that it's probably an over-keen subeditor 'correcting' the proper spelling.

smithie
 
#17
Litotes said:
smithie said:
"....After all, some of us had just returned from a two-week deployment in the dodgier bits of Basra and were less than "delighted" to swap a proper rest in our bashers for extra guard duty around the completely safe Divisional HQ watching the prime minister mugging to the cameras.

etc etc
'Square Basher'
© Private Eye
Blasted journalists - can't even spell basha correctly!

Litotes
This could be a spell-check/editorial gaff !. Basha probably won't be in their lexicon and the article appears under square-basher, so someone made the obvious (wrong) connection.

As for MD & Lunchtime O'Booze etc, I believe the contributors may change over time but the replacement keeps the nom de plume. Our man may be more than one over the months/years.
 
#18
smithie said:
Litotes said:
Blasted journalists - can't even spell basha correctly!

Litotes
I thought that when I was typing it up; I suspect that it's probably an over-keen subeditor 'correcting' the proper spelling.

smithie
Private Eye can afford sub-editors??? Or perhaps they are the ones who used to be employed at the Grauniad!

Litotes
 
#19
More from "square basher" in this weeks edition refering to operations in Afghanistan. Also a letter from a ex sergeant in the staffs regt about medals, or lack of them - quite a few waiting for 1939-45 decorations still. Sorry, can't get a link. You'll have to buy a copy.
 
#20
Here it is


Evidence of direct Iranian involvement in attacks on British Troops is not confined to southern Iraq.

The word from the ‘puttign stickers on maps’ brigade aka The Intelligence Corps is that Tehran is also providing weapons and training for Jihadistas in Afghanistan, just in time for the deployment of our lads there later this year, both regulars and reluctant part-timers from the TA.

The withdrawal of 2,500 Spams cheered local Taliban lunatics so much they immeditaly instituted a successful recruitment drive in Iran, Saudi and Bradford fully aware that the British effort in Afghansiatan will be fatally split between a war on drugs (upsetting local warlords and alllies in the GWOT) and a war on terror (upsetting Abu Musab al-Zarqawi a terroroist with a hotline to Damascus and Teheran) encouraging an engagement on two fronts with the MoD briefing newspapers of casualties on a Falklands War scale.

Meanwhile members of the ‘coalition of the willing’ against terror like the Dutch and the French continue to limit their commitments to a minimum leaving the lads with a massive task to complete with minimum backing from the MoD and with crap kit and crap rules of engagement.

Copyright Private Eye
 

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